From my experience, men will say whatever they need to say in order to get laid.
They don’t like to be called out on things they’ve done wrong, just as much as they don’t want to be confronted about what’s going on in the relationship.
Hey guys, let’s get one thing straight: if we’re close enough to have sex, then we’re close enough for me to ask questions.
When I first started dating and getting intimate with guys, I felt very weird asking them questions like “what are we?” and “what’s going on with us?” and whatnot. In my mind and from what friends and the Internet told me, I shouldn’t ask questions like that after sex because it’ll scare them away.
If you can put your penis inside of my vagina, then I can ask you any question I want to ask.
All guys do the same things when they hear the “what are we?” question: panic, avoid the conversation as best as possible, and try to convince me that I’m crazy for asking the question in the first place.
After sex, guys tend to get this “holier than thou” attitude, and in a way, they think they’ve suddenly come into so much power. They feel as if they have the upper-hand in the relationship because they got what they wanted (sex) and now I’m in a vulnerable spot (asking questions). They make me feel as if I’m crazy for wanting to know where we stand.
“Do you like me? We’ve been hanging out a lot and I just wanted to know if this was a casual thing or if you really wanted to get to know me,” I ask.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now. Let’s talk later,” he says.
So let me say this to any guy who might be reading: I’m only asking these questions because I don’t want my time being wasted. If you’re only interested in sex or if you just want a friends with benefit relationship, talk to me. Tell me what you want and what you don’t want.
I’m not crazy for wanting to know where I stand with you.
If we’re close enough that you can cum on my stomach, then we’re close enough for me to ask, “so…what are we?”