It’s a narcissistic thing, to be on a dating app.
I’m not pointing fingers, because I’m guilty of using these apps just as my friends are too. I’m just saying, we are becoming narcissistic creatures because of our addictions to dating apps.
If you really think about it, we are sampling people and people are sampling us.
I’m just being real here. We have too many options to try and find someone to connect with–Tinder, Hinge, Grindr, OkCupid, eHarmony, etc. We swipe for hours, picking and choosing who we want to talk to. If we don’t like what we see, it’s okay, because we can just move on to the next one.
We look at others and judge the way they look and decide right then and there, in that moment that we won’t have a connection with them. If we’re not interested in someone we see on a dating app (which is mostly used for seeing what people look like, if we’re being real here), then they won’t even get a message, let alone a swipe.
It’s a superficial thing and we are all guilty of it. We are on these apps hoping to connect with someone, but the reality is, we’re just looking for instant gratification.
When someone matches with us, it makes us feel good. We want that validation–if we have a match, then that means someone is interested in our looks first and foremost. Sure, people swipe right because they took the time to read our profiles and they have similar interests in us. But on the surface level, our swipes are probably just because of looks.
When we get rejected, we don’t really take the time to reflect on what happened. We jump back on to a dating app and say, “thank u, next!”
Don’t get me wrong–it’s a powerful statement by Queen Ariana Grande and I am completely guilty for saying it consistently in my everyday life. It’s a truly inspiring concept to say “yeah that person hurt me but I’m moving on now. No big deal!” To be honest, I’ve had this same attitude towards dating and relationships. I’ve dealt with too much heartbreak and rejection and it’s become so familiar to me. I often expect it. I just move on to the next person.
With dating apps, we have the ability to be so quick when we’re trying to move on from someone. We jump back in to try and find a connection with someone new.
We have the ability to swipe and swipe and send a message and swipe more, and with that, we become addicted. This attitude of “thank u, next” and wanting to move on so quickly is fueling the fire to our dating app and swiping addictions.
“Oh they have tattoos! Love that.”
“Ugh, they’re a conservative?”