There is no bond greater than the one between a mother and daughter. She teaches you how it feels to be unconditionally loved. You admire her strength, and you never allow yourself to think a day will come where she no longer can hold your hand.
But then you’re 12 years old playing Yahtzee when you get the call. And those nightmares you’ve had for the past four years become reality.
For the first few weeks, you’ll pray and ask God to take you too. You’ll wait until bedtime to cry because you want to be strong, just like she always was. You’re going to become so angry at the world for taking her away.
And for the next 10 years, you’re going to struggle to make the right decisions. Every time you mess up, you’re going to feel incredibly guilty because you know she wants better for you. You tell yourself that you can handle this without help until one night you realize how bad it has gotten and you say no more.
You’re going to struggle to open up to people because you’ve had your heart broken at such a young age. But little do you know, someone extraordinary will come around and allow you to be vulnerable again. Slowly he will chip away at the thick brick walls you’ve built. And he will motivate you to chase your dreams, just like your mother did when you were a little girl.
And when you feel all alone in this world, your mom will send you a sign that she never left. Maybe someone sends you a photo of her you’ve never seen, or you see someone in a store you swear could be her, or someone calls your phone and says your mother’s name, then hangs up. And darling, if there ever comes a time where you feel like you’ve lost all hope of feeling happy again, your mom will visit you in a dream. You’ll get to hug her one last time and when you wake up you’ll squeeze yourself so tight to savor that feeling.
If your mother was anything like mine, then her spirit deserves to be remembered. I know you wish she was here to see you graduate, to meet her grandchildren and your first boyfriend. But in your heart you know she’s watching and proud to see how far you’ve come. Her spirit shines within you, and that will never fade.