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If Your College Relationship Isn’t Working, Don’t Feel Guilty

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People overanalyze why relationships work, and why they don’t. They spend an aggressive amount of time picking apart every text message, every moment spent together, to try to piece why something maybe never worked, or isn’t currently working.

I had a boyfriend my whole senior year in high school and I always believed that when I started college, I should be single and 110% on my own to really get the full experience. I wanted to indulge in my school on my own, be vulnerable, and experience things with new people I had never met. My boyfriend at the time thought differently, and even contemplated going to the same school as me just to keep our relationship going. I told him regardless of his college decision, being at the same school wouldn’t change the fact that I needed to go into this new experience alone. I knew I couldn’t give our relationship the time or effort it deserved, and as selfish as that felt, I knew I was only doing both of us a favor.

It wasn’t that I didn’t still have feelings for my boyfriend, it was the timing, and the unavoidable truth that our timing would no longer click like it had before. Many people lack to recognize the importance of timing in relationships when really, timing should be attributed to at least fifty percent of every relationship. Think about it, there are two separate human beings, wandering around in this world, and somehow they meet, at a specific place, in a specific time in their lives. From that moment forward, those two people will have to put scheduled time aside for that person to be apart of their life.

I’m in college now, and frankly, I struggle to find time to even shower. College is full of late nights, early mornings, afternoon naps, overscheduled classes, short lived study time, an overload of cramming to finish homework time, and an unhealthy amount of Netflix. The combination of the lazy and stressful schedule leaves us all with limited one-on-one human interaction.

I have a handful of good friends currently in college relationships- some long distance, some not. Many are seeking to hold onto their relationships with their boyfriends as much as possible because for some reason, things aren’t like what they were in high school. It’s clear they’re struggling and they just haven’t come to accept that it might just not be working at this time. Yes, they all care so much about their significant other and when they find the time, the spark might still be there. But the timing of their lives right now doesn’t scream “SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, NOW OR NEVER.”

As much as we’d like to think differently, we’re still kids, and most likely will be acting that way for these next four years. So enjoy it, figure out who you are without your other person. Take time to be alone and don’t be scared to like it. If you’re holding onto a relationship that once was great, and isn’t now, it probably isn’t just that you’re relationship is changing, but because the timing isn’t right. Don’t feel sorry for telling your boyfriend or girlfriend that the timing with you two is off, because maybe in the future it will sync together again.

College is full of crazy experiences, new relationships, and figuring out who to be on your own and with a whole school of students who are undergoing the same changes. Relish in this time of freedom to be your own individual that can take on any new experience, and don’t let someone tie you down from taking those chances to see what’s really out there. TC mark

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