long-angle photography of tunnel

Empty Space

there is a space
i try to fill
with you
your lips
your body
your touch
and nothing else matters

life is fleeting
death is imminent
and so is the void i feel

so i lust for you
praying you’ll take me
to another world

i caress you
hoping to feel

not electricity
not connection
just something
that keeps me hanging on

with you
i feel alive
breathlessly hopeful
if only for a moment

until the feeling fades
and all i have left
is empty space
i can never seem
to fill

i hunger for something
i don’t yet know
and it tears me up
that it’s not you

i thirst for a remedy
for the sadness
that fills me
and i wish
you were the cure

instead i become fragile
hoping that everything
will ache
just to fill
the gaping hole
in my heart

i empty myself
trying to feel
and safe

i notice
the ache behind my eyes
but i still feel
and numb

please tell me
why it is
that chasing fullness
always leads to emptiness?

and do you know
why i yearn for
nothing and everything
when you can’t cure me?

until i know the truth
my bones become hollow
the same way I feel
when you can’t save me

until I know the answer
i try to fill
my constant emptiness
by trying to please you

i try to impress you
my lips red
my heels high
and my fingers nestled
in the hollow
of my clavicle
never believing
i am worthy
of your love

but all you want
is my void to be filled
my tears to be dry
and my numbness to burn
with a lust for life

so while I cry
on kitchen floors
and wither away
to truly feel nothing
you keep trying
to fill the empty space

and i discover
i can’t cure empty
with thin skin
and hollow bones
and rejected dinner plates
and fake smiles

life is still fleeting
and death is still imminent
but maybe love is the key
to fill the space
that has haunted my heart
far too long

Lives for red lipstick, high heels, 80’s pop, cats, and Oxford commas.

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