This Is What I Wish You Could See

woman wearing white spaghetti strap top with blonde hair
Velizar Ivanov / Unsplash

I wish you could see. I wish you could see the way the world perceives you. I wish you could see that you are living in a fantasy. I wish you could see yourself exactly as you are and learn to change your ways.

I wish you could see how deluded you’ve become. You reside high atop the world, your head in the clouds, your heart convinced that you are above all else. There is no one who can reach you, no one who can teach you, no one who can beseech you to recognize your flagrant mediocrity. Instead of seeking self-examination, you turn to self-aggrandizement, launching yourself among the stars as you bury your opponents beneath layers of hardened earth.

I wish you could see how the world dances around your emotions. You are innocence personified; too fragile to shatter with pointed words and harsh truths, too delicate to comprehend the brokenness that lurks beside you. The controlled, sheltered world you inhabit persuades you that you are enough; deserving of every opportunity, undeniably destined for success, even as it shakes its head and wags its fingers at the lack of proof before it. No one will speak the truth; that you will struggle throughout your life, that the words that appear to bolster your self-esteem also stifle you from reaching your full potential.

I wish you could see how your words harm others. Beneath your spurts of saccharine energy lies a sinister intent; a desire to deceive, a will to break. You feign innocence, hoping it will absolve you of all responsibility for your actions, but not even blissful naivety can negate the harm you’ve caused. Behind closed doors flows a river of tears; a maelstrom of frustration, upset, and doubt poised to boil over. You squelch valid emotions into submission; plying others with reassurances that your ill intent was nothing but a figment of the imagination, but you are painfully transparent in your deception.

I wish you could see that you are tearing me apart. I loved everything we had, everything we were, but you are pulling me away from everyone I love, creating an inoperable fissure where there should be fusion. You are drawing me into isolation, forcing me to think only of you, even as I long for my mind to wander anywhere else, to escape you and never look back. You are stretching me thin, breaking my heart, and splitting me open, but I will never stop searching for honesty; the thread that will always pull us back together. TC mark

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