I Will Never Cry Over You Again

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Christopher Campbell / Unsplash

I will never cry over you again.

Your words hurt, but I refuse to give you the satisfaction of seeing my tears. I refuse to let your words affect me.

You’ve never thought I was enough. I wasn’t quick enough for you, I wasn’t smart enough for you, I wasn’t good enough for you. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed. For the first time, I began to see myself as successful, capable, and talented, while you plateaued.

Suddenly, your jealousy struck. My words were too big for you, my writing too structured, my thoughts too complex, my personality too passionate. And yet, even as I became too much, my successes were still never enough for you, as you constantly criticized my every action, smirking to show your complete disinterest.

Every time you tried to bring me down, I’d cry. Too many tears to stay strong, not enough tears to satisfy you. Still, every time I cried over you, you won, and I could never seem to take back those victories. Too many tears, too many losses, too much wasted time.

Too much self-doubt. I questioned who I truly was if my passions didn’t even matter. If I wasn’t any good at the things I loved, then who was I? Where was I going? What had I been working towards?

Were you right about me? Was it true that I am both too much and not enough?

You were wrong, and I never should have cried over you.

I’m capable. I can achieve anything I set my mind to, as long as I brush aside the negativity and focus on my goals.

I’m intelligent. I have the smarts to take me far in life, especially if I’m wise enough to refuse to listen to opinions that don’t matter.

I’m driven. I work as hard as I possibly can on anything I set out to do, and I use harsh words as fuel to improve myself.

I’m passionate. I care deeply about the people and things I love, and I pour my heart and soul into everything I do.

I’m enough. I’m not too much, not too little. I’m my quirky, one-of-a-kind self; the girl who cares hard, tries hard, laughs hard, cries hard, loves hard. I’m hard to reach, hard to know, hard to love — but I’m unapologetically myself, and I’m perfect as I am.

I will never cry over you again. Instead, I will use your words to improve myself and always ignore opinions that aren’t constructive. I will never give you the power of making me feel inferior. Your constant criticism has taught me the most valuable lesson: As long as I stay true to myself, I will always be enough. TC mark

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