Beyond The Yuccie: 70 Alternative Permutations Of The Hipster

I am not even sure I need to link the article, guys, because it’s the #ViralThinkpiece of the week, the one that you had to actively try to avoid. I am of course referring to the recent essay in Mashable, The Hipster is Dead, and You Might Not Like Who Comes Next.

It’s a perfectly fine article, I guess. It’s alright, I guess. In it, the author declares the death of the hipster and simultaneous rise of the yuccie. Pronounced like “yucky” (get it?) a yuccie is a Young Uban Creative (get it?). The yuccie is the spiritual child of the hipster and the yuppie, interested in authenticity insofar as it begets a certain standard of wealth. The yuccie seeks the trophies of conventional success (money, property, fancy vacations, expensive meals) so long as they are acquired through creative means (organic sock companies, free range free verse small press publishing companies.)

It makes sense. It’s an incisive discussion of current trends. “Yuccie” is a snappy enough term.

It’s… okay.

I just would have preferred if writer David Infante had contacted me first. Know what I mean? See, I am a professional by day, but by night, I am a talented writer, with a keen eye towards cultural trends. I have a lot of ideas that deserve time, attention, and money.

I would consider myself to be above-average at being creative, and above-average at being smart. I had a lot of nougats of information that I could have contributed. A lot of accumulated wisdom I could have brought in.  Mr. Infante was remiss to ignore my opinion. By failing to make one simple phone call, he denied himself the opportunity to hear my hundreds of thousands of amazing ideas.

I’m not necessarily angry, I’m just disappointed.

At the risk of sounding callous and seeming as if I am trying to upstage the biggest trend piece of this week and appearing to use someone else’s work as a stepping stone for my own success, I would like to submit for your consideration a list of alternative terms that are possibly better than “yuccie.” Infante did a fine job, yes. And I am not saying that the job I have done below is better. (Or should I say jobs? For I have presented many options.) I will leave that up for you to decide. I will leave that for you, as the reader, to choose.

So try the terms on for a bit. Wear them in the fashion of a hat, swapping them out when the situation merits. Do not even feel like you need to credit me, although you certainly may do so.

The options are as follows:

1. Angerster

2. Beerbeardfanatics

3. Brandpa

4. Brandero

5. Centurion

6. Contentmongter

7. CorporoGrrrl

8. Dandychap

9. Dandydude

10. Disappointing Goons

11. Drinkster

12. Drug Fan

13. Earbuddy

14. Engagementator

15. Fopcore

16. Futuras

17. Futuros

18. Godlessness

19. GoodFriends

20. GoodTimeGals

21. Havemonger

22. Heathens

23. Hurl-insults-online

24. Hurtcourt

25. Hurtful Ones

26. Influencero

27. Iconotron

28. Instagrandma

29. Into-the-Net

30. Ironotron

31. Laserfreak

32. Lesserbeing

33. Longreader

34. Marijuanter

35. Man’o’War’on’Terror

36. Musetto

37. Marajuanter

38. Meal Photographers

39. Ne’er-Off-Phones

40. Neverkno

41. Notgoods

42. Oblivias

43. On-the-Net

44. Order Fooder Eater

45. Organic Lad

46. Pain-in-the-Ass

47. Phase-Haver

48. Pluggedin’Always

49. PracticallyKids

50. Practicaljokesters

51. Pranksters

52. Rap Metal

53. Rappers

54. Reckless’Ones

55. Rejectsociété

56. Shredders

57. Snapchaps

58. Snowpiercer

59. Techsters

60. The Untested

61. Uniqulos

62. Un-profesh

63. Uploading Their Consciousness to the Internet

64. Thinkpiecer

65. WeTrustYou-NOT!!

66. What-a-Bunch

67. Yolorollers

68. Youthsters

69. YoungPros

70. ZippingThruLife (too quickly)

Again, not trying to upstage Infante here. But as a Hurtful One myself (just testing it out) I have egalitarian interests and a keen eye towards creative collaboration. And a big part of creative collaboration is listening to more ideas than just your own.

I eagerly anticipate my share of the internet’s unilateral support. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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