3 Lessons You’ll Learn From Dating Multiple Guys At The Same Time

shutterstock.com
shutterstock.com
By this point in time we are all well aware of what the hook up culture is. Guys do it. Girls do it. It has just become a commonality in today’s dating world. Since I was a sophomore in high school I have always been in committed, long-term relationships. I never allowed myself to get out there and date around, meet new people or even have a one-night-stand.
So, I gave myself 30 days to throw caution into the wind and go out on as many dates as possible.
Here are some lessons I learned from this experience:

1. There is way too much stress involved.

Dating around takes a lot of work; it might as well be a second job. At one point, I had a date with a different guy every night of the week. Not only was I worn out from having the same “get to know you” conversations over and over, but by Sunday I was just completely exhausted with guys in general and refused to respond to anyone until the following Tuesday. Also, having to juggle texting conversations between multiple guys is pretty taxing as well. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved looking at my phone and having nice messages from four different guys at once, but always having to be on my “A game,” coming up with cute and witty responses constantly, started to get old pretty fast. On top of that, there is always the possibility of running into one while out with the other, which just caused me to always be looking over my shoulder — I guess I have a guilty conscious problem. Overall, it takes a lot more brain power than I would have thought to date multiple people at once, and I commend those who do this regularly.

2. You will probably only kiss about 15% of your dates.

Over 30 days, I went out with 17 different guys. Granted, only two of them made it past the third date, and only one passed my seven date rule, but still, out of those 17 guys, I only kissed three. Only two of them expected me to give them a little something for having the pleasure of occupying their coveted free time, which went over really well for them. But other than those exceptions, most of my dates were gentlemen and didn’t expect more from me unless I suggested it. I think this may be where we don’t give guys enough credit. Not all guys want to just get in your pants after the first date — though there is probably a large handful that do. Most of them are really just looking for that same connection us girls are looking for.

3. You need to learn to just have fun.

I’m sure some of you reading this are like me and have gone from one serious relationship to the next, now left with no clue as to how to enter the dating pool. But trust me when I say that despite all the stress and sleazy people you will probably meet on your way to find prince charming, dating multiple people at one time has taught me a lot about who I am as a person. It’s helped me set my personal standards for the kind of guy I want for my next serious relationship. Although I WOULD recommend sticking to a smaller number than 17 in 30 days; that was pretty overwhelming. But at the same time, don’t forget to enjoy yourself. It took me a little while to reach this point, but meeting new people is an exciting piece to the adventure we call life. You don’t have to marry the guy; just getting to know him will open your eyes to new experiences and outlooks on life, and in the end, that is really what dating is all about. So take a dip into the dating pool, because sometimes the water can be nice. TC mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus