Thought Catalog

You’re Not Prepared To Meet Your Forever Person Until You’ve Done These 5 Things

  • 0
Adam Griffith

You have not truly lived until you have gotten your heart broken. It is inevitable and as common as white rice. Both your heart and soul has been crushed and your ego is shattered. You’re unsure of yourself and more than likely still a bit confused about what went wrong to warrant that last heartache.

But it’s not the end. Life is not over. In fact, it’s a new beginning and that last relationship gave you a diploma to begin a new journey. Now use it!

Whoever said “the best way to get over a man is to get under another one,” single-handedly created the worst wave of emotionally wrecked women ever. Some women would often attempt to put a bad relationship behind them by hurriedly getting into another. As women, we have been conditioned to believe that to be happy and live successful lives we need to find a partner to complete us, rather than complement us. Consequently, we’re so busy looking for “the one,” we gravitate to the next available man in an attempt to escape the emotional clutches of the last “one” who caused us pain. Nevertheless, a broken heart shouldn’t leave one confused about their self-worth or force one to give up on love. Instead, women should spend time building and identifying themselves as a whole person in preparation for the right guy who would complement them as a partner should. Here are a few steps you should take:

1. Reassess yourself as a complete woman

What are your greatest qualities and what are your worst flaws? When you have assessed these character traits spend time appreciating your great qualities and understand that these traits are what makes you a great person. Play them up more. After identifying your worst flaws start working on correcting them, especially if they tend to hurt others. No one’s perfect and everyone should take responsibility for their part to play in the breakdown of any relationship.

2. Analyze your idea of happiness

Are you happy with yourself or do you need someone else to make your life happy? If you’re unable to create happiness in your life how exactly are you planning to make someone happy with you? Understand that a partner should complement you as a whole person and is not entirely responsible for your happiness.

3. Heal yourself

You are crushed! Your ex has taken almost everything from you and left you despondent, hurt and unfairly bruised. You are utterly afraid to open up to anyone else because you have been treated like last week’s leftovers because someone did not understand your value and appreciate what you have to offer. Now you need to heal. Healing yourself is the most important step in this preparation. If you do not heal, you will enter into another relationship carrying broken emotions and askew ideologies developed because you were traumatized by someone else. Do not look to the next person to heal you, as your insecurities may instead chase them away.

4. Revisit your plan

Perhaps the last person was not exactly the type of person you should have been with. Perhaps there were warning signs you overlooked because you were smitten by their good looks, charms and let’s face it, great sex. Revisit your idea of the type of man you can truly see yourself with – not who your parents want, or your friends will think is cool, or the next catch with money. Perhaps it’s as simple as someone who will answer the phone when you call or bring you pizza without you asking, or you don’t have to convince that seeing a play does not make him ‘gay.’ He’s out there, just be patient.

5. Rebuild your foundation

You’re beginning to feel like your old self again – confident, self-assured and loved! You start preparing yourself mentally and emotionally for a new person in your life. If you have been repeating the same mistakes with the same type of men, chances are you are dipping in the same pool. Find a new pool. Expand your horizon and step out of your comfort zone. You are creating a solid foundation with blocks that you have chosen for yourself; a new space to welcome positive energy into your life as you attract the right type of love. TC mark

More from Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog Videos