We turn to music at major junctions in our lives and breakups are no exceptions. According to movies and TV, the remedy to a painful breakup includes tears, snotty noses, ice cream and copious amounts of Adele. I certainly don’t hate Adele, but I’m proposing an alternative playlist that will get you back to your best self a little quicker. Breakups are tumultuous journeys filled with a range of emotions and you need a song for all of them:
1) Wet- Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl
This song is perfect while the wounds are fresh. Sometimes we doubt our decisions and need a little reaffirmation. This song is about that exact moment when you decide you deserve better. We all deserve love if we are willing to give it. Even if you were not the one making that initial decision, you can still choose to seek happiness and this song is about making that call. The going may be rough but the end result is worth it.
2) Chet Faker- 1998
People disappoint you. It will shock you, it will confuse you and it’s okay to feel angry. There’s no denying it sucks to lose someone. When you’re in a relationship that person is more than just your partner. You used to be friends, and if you weren’t, there is issue number one. It’s amazing how quickly people can go from being the most significant to nothing at all. Chet Faker tells it like it is. It feels so good to have an artist convey exactly how you feel in a much more entertaining and beautiful way than your sobs and wine-induced rants. Give yourself a break and let him express those thoughts for you.
3) Chance the Rapper & The Social Experiment- No Better Blues
I can’t stress enough how frustrating it is to hear people tell you to be optimistic when you are in the middle of a post break-up pity party. Sometimes nothing feels better than just saying “this fucking sucks.” It does. Breakups are hard. Breakups are a form of loss and it’s okay to mourn. Chance gets it. At some point you will realize this is satire. You can’t wallow forever, but it’s okay to have your moment as long as you realize there will come a time when you need to let go.
4) Notorious B.I.G.- Juicy
This is the song I turn to whenever I’ve accepted that it’s really over. This song has a special place in my heart. Rapping along to an inspirational verse can motivate you like none other when everything feels out of whack. Despite all the hardships he faced, Biggie tells you “…it’s still all good,” and with that you just know everything will be okay. Not to mention, rapping is fucking fun.
5) The Beatles- Dear Prudence
I am a firm believer in music as medicine. When you’ve finished having your moment of anger and grief, turn your focus to songs that make you feel happy again. This song is like having your mother gently caress your cheek and tell you she loves you. The lyrics are so optimistic and the melody sounds like sunshine. I realize that sounds exceptionally cheesy. Before you shout, “She doesn’t even go here,” give it a chance. It’s impossible not to smile at least a little bit.
6) MNDR- Feed Me Diamonds
As a newly single individual, the responsibility falls on you to better your own life. It’s time to focus on yourself and do everything you couldn’t or wouldn’t do when you were with your ex. Do what it takes to feel like the best version of you. Live the life of luxury. There’s no one to tell you that you can’t be completely selfish and indulgent, so go ahead and try it out. Don’t take MNDR to heart and ingest diamonds, but you get the gist. You do you, as they say. Just bear in mind the difference between self-indulgence and self-destruction.
7) The Knocks- Move Me
This is a song to make you feel sexy. Whatever it is that makes you feel confident, get out there and do it. It feels damned good to head out and truly feel good in your own skin again after a breakup. My methods of choice are fitness and dancing. I’m sure I don’t look particularly hot doing either, but it’s about feeling sexy rather than actually looking that way. Try blasting this jam and not giving two fucks. You won’t regret it.
8) Cardinals- Throne
This sweet and sappy tune gives me that kind of fluttery, warm smile that reminds me what it feels like to have a crush. Listening to this is like being at your grade seven dance and holding your crush’s hand for the first time. You sweat profusely as you make your way to the floor to awkwardly showcase your skills in front of the entire teaching faculty. But you don’t care because you are an arm’s length distance from your crush! OMG! Remember that feeling? You will feel that excitement again. Open yourself up to meeting new people, figuring out what makes you happy and letting yourself experience this kind of joy. Life is about to get really exciting!