10. Boardwalk and Park Place are way too overpriced. I mean, they’re in the same exact neighborhood as Baltic and Mediterranean. What is “GO” the Berlin Wall or something?
9. The structure makes no sense. Why do I have to pay rent on a property when there are no houses there? And why is it better for society to build hotels where houses used to be?
8. Why do we all have to listen to that Mr. Monopoly or Rich Uncle Pennybags or whatever his name is? Is he God or the supreme leader? Well, I guess his face is on all the money.
7. I’m sorry, but owning all the railroads is a much better monopoly to have than a few hotels on a boardwalk.
6. Whenever I land on “Jail” in Monopoly, but I’m “Just visiting,” I’m always afraid the player already in Jail expects a conjugal visit.
5. Why can’t I stay in a hotel for more than one night? And, in reality, just because I’m hanging outside your house for five minutes doesn’t give you the right to charge me rent. I’m just using the WiFi real fast. Relax.
4. The “2nd place in the beauty contest” card is so insulting. But, it’s probably better this way, because I would’ve lost my crown for doing that nude spread anyhow.
3. Monopoly is too much like real life. The guy with all the money and all the property is happy to go to jail briefly because he knows he’ll still win in the end.
2. This is a hard game to play with a group of hipsters. They all always argue over who gets to be the top hat. Thank god there’s no sleeve tattoo token.
1. And, finally, something that has always irked me: Why is there no major competitor for the game Monopoly?