Most of us are terrified of change. The idea of the foundation shifting from under our feet and forcing us to find a comfortable balance again is nerve-wracking. We stay in the same relationships, organizations, towns, colleges, and situations because we are scared for changed. We are scared that it might take a part of us away which we will never get back, ripping us apart one change at a time.
Truth is: it will. Change will rip you apart, it will make you question yourself in every way possible.
Change will make you hesitant, it will make you weak, it will make you naive. But, it will also be exactly what you need.
A few months ago, I went through a change that although I wasn’t prepared for, I am thankful for now.
My heartbreak has changed me in ways that I am now grateful for because it taught me valuable lessons.
I learned to be okay with not having answers. I spent a couple of weeks after trying to put the pieces together and understand exactly where I had lost a piece and why it didn’t all fit together perfectly. It didn’t all connect, it was a blur. It was overwhelming to try to find exactly where the disconnect had been, and eventually, I stopped. It took more out of me to try to piece it together than if I just accepted the unknown. I had to learn to be okay with not having answers. I had to learn to be content with just knowing that something didn’t work out and was not meant for me. For that, I am grateful.
I learned to be selfish with my heart. I truly believe that you’re supposed to be vulnerable in relationships, whether they be romantic, platonic, or familial. Vulnerability is how we, as humans, gain the intimacy we yearn for in all relationships. It is how we connect with others on a deeper level. But, the vulnerability of one’s heart is not to be confused with the naivety of it. I learned that it’s okay for me to be selfish with who I let into the deepest parts of my heart and that I don’t owe this right to anyone. I realized that I was to guard my own heart and was not obligated to give it all away. For that, I am grateful.
I learned how to love my friends and family. I am truly blessed with the most amazing friends and family in the entire world and without their unwavering love and support this process would have been impossible. The love and compassion I have been surrounded by leaves me speechless. I am thankful for the change in my life because I would not have realized the immeasurable love I am enveloped by. I am thankful for this change in my life because it has brought me the most amazing friendships and strengthened by relationships with those who I love most. It showed me how to love others and how to be appreciative of those who love me. For that, I am grateful.
I learned to love myself unconditionally. When we experience change, particularly in the form of heartbreak, we can often forget how valuable we are. We can question ourselves and question what is wrong with us. Although it took me some time, I realized, there is nothing wrong with me. I learned to embrace every part of me because I love who I am and in order to continue to grow into who I want to be, I need show myself the unconditional love I deserve. I was designed carefully and lovingly by Him and although I am flawed, I am not worth anything less He intended for me. Through my pain, I found my worth through His love for me. For that, I am grateful.
I learned to trust Him unconditionally. A couple of weeks ago, while vacationing in Miami, Florida I visited a graffiti park which is notorious for the social commentary its artists make with their artwork. I distinctly remember seeing one artist had spray painted a coin, which read “In God We Trust, Sometimes.” This spoke volumes to me because it was so brutally honest. Often times, when we get heartbroken or go through change we forget to trust in Him. We question His intentions, we try to take matters into our own hands, we try to overrule His plan with ours. My heartbreak truly tested my faith and in the end, brought me significantly closer to the One that holds my heart unconditionally. I have had my faith tested and learned how to give into Him without worries and trust that He has a plan for me beyond my wildest dreams. For that, I am grateful.
Through this process, my dad continuously reminds me: “Even the rainiest clouds have silver linings if you look hard enough.”
When change, occurs in your life, in whatever form it might take, choose to find the silver linings and it will leave you to happiness and growth through your experiences.