People always seem to focus on the power of walking away. It’s that moment where you finally have the superhero strength to leave behind whatever is preventing you from being happy. It may be a person, it may be a place, and it may hurt like hell at first, but at some point, we’ve all felt a sense of power over what we just left.
You can admit it, it is perfectly normal. But we never seem to hear about strength and power when the shoe is on the other foot. There is a certain power in being the one left behind.
Stay with me on this one, I know it sounds crazy. I’ve had more than one person walk away from my life. It didn’t matter if it was the family members who watched me grow up or the ex-boyfriend who made me hate everything about myself.
It didn’t matter how many times it happened or how many times I tuned out the, “This isn’t your fault” speech. Being left behind is a pain unlike any other. It has never got easier and I can’t imagine it ever will. But eventually I realized something with each person who walked away from me:
For every person who walked all over me on their way out the door of my life, I learned to stand up and hold the door open.
I’ve never been one to depend on others. I don’t even know if such a trait is in my genetic code. Nature versus nurture debates aside, I’ve learned to depend on myself more with each person who didn’t feel like sticking around.
I think people sometimes leave to see if they’ll be begged to come back. Word to the wise: those are not people you should center your life around, nor is that someone you should aspire to become.
I used to make myself crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong and how I could make someone come back. Then it dawned on me that I’m the one in charge of my happiness, not anybody else. I am an independent, strong woman and I don’t need any friendship or relationship that can’t accept that.
So, to the family members who watched me grow up and still chose to walk out of my life, I hope you understand that the loss is all yours. To the ex-boyfriend who made me hate everything about myself as a person, walking out was the best gift you ever gave me. It gave me more confidence, independence, and strength than I could have ever imagined.
To everyone else who felt I didn’t have a place in their life, thank you for walking out of mine. Being left may often feel like the worst thing to ever happen and sometimes you just can’t avoid feeling the pain of a lost friendship. But the one who walked away isn’t always the one who holds the power. Sometimes the power belongs to the one who held the door open to let them out.