This Is Why First Love Is So Scary

You could be my first love and that scares me. I’ve heard so many stories of people’s first love going so wrong and they never loved so passionately and without abandon again. That scares me. No. That absolutely terrifies me.

I want my first love to last as naive as it sounds. That first love with feelings so real and genuine that nothing else can compare.

I don’t want it to crash and burn. I want it to last, to prove everyone else’s stories wrong.

I am afraid of feeling that fire, that wild, unbridled love again. That soft wind of safety that pushes you to fall fearlessly in love. That is the kind of love that I almost don’t want to experience because of its power, its meaning, its memories that don’t leave. That first love that no one else can compete with. I don’t want that first real love to scar me just like it has to so many of its other victims. I don’t want to be left with burn marks from its fiery passion.

If I do experience this love, I don’t want it to betray me, to leave me in its remains, empty and broken-hearted.

I’m scared at the possibility of loving you as awful as that sounds because that means the possibility of never feeling that kind of love again. I don’t want to get my heart broken by something that could have so much power and significance over the rest of my life. Unfortunately there isn’t a happy ending to this part of the story since I don’t know the ending.

But who knows? Maybe I could have this kind of love with you and it will stay authentic and impassioned instead of bringing my biggest fear to life.