To The Boy That Stole My Smile

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You took the shine I once had away from me.

Constantly lying

And cheating on the side.

I used to smile so bright.

And my parents used to say I was a happy girl.

Then the darkness came into my life

And the thoughts of never being enough

But every time you’d yell

I’d sit there with tear soaked eyes and apologize

I never knew what I did wrong

But I was always so damn wrong

Constantly brought down

But all I wanted in this world was to love

To kiss broken parts

To mend people’s hearts

When my grandma died

My dearest friend

The party was more important

Then the funeral I had to attend

And I remember reading that eulogy

And looking for you in the crowd

But of course you were no where to be found.

It was my fault I worried.

Even when I knew there were other girls

It was my fault I was controlling

When on my birthday you picked up her call

My anxiety was just something in my head

And if it didn’t stop you were going to put this all to an end

But I tried and I tried

To show you how much I cared

I gave you my heart

The half that was still there

On Valentine’s day you said you had to do work

Unanswered calls and you were at the bar

But your friends were in town

How could I be so selfish

So I lie in my bed

As my tears hit the pillow

Trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake my neighbor

But each time you brought me down

I worked harder to prove you wrong

That I loved you and that’s all that should matter

But a text would soon come

That it was over.

And just like that in a text

The last of my heart went to rest.

I lost a lot of pounds.

And then ate it all back

I started to miss class

And you were running a victory lap

I was told a million times I deserved better

But I was so worn out

I didn’t know better.

The drinking begun and it took a toll

Reckless nights that I can’t recall

And then the nights I lied awake

Telling myself I needed to fight

The thoughts in my head

That kept saying just let it end.

And each day was a test

Of the ultimate survival.

I had hit rock bottom

And didn’t know where to go

I lost myself

And couldn’t smile.

My dad would tell me

I haven’t seen you happy in oh so long

And it broke what I had left that I wasn’t so strong

And time will not heal these wounds

Of the abuse and the used.

And as you’re off living your life.

Just remember you took a smile. TC mark 

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