Today I Wanted To Get Over You

Today I wanted to get over you. Your name was the first thing that greeted my mind when I opened my eyes. I then took a shower to drown out all the traces of your touch.

Today I wanted to get over you. My lips touched coffee for the first time in months. You always hated the taste of coffee breath. I wore that yellow dress you were always jealous of, because they held me tighter than you ever could.

Today I wanted to get over you. I worked twice as hard at work to distract my heart. My thoughts constantly inquired what you were doing. I frequently checked my phone in hopes you’d send one of those cheesy memes that always used to make me laugh.

Today I wanted to get over you. I listened to my co-worker Renee complain about her boyfriend for hours. I often ignored her weekly transgressions. But, maybe today, listening to her problems would make me feel a little better.

Because now, my mouth was free of boyfriend complaints. I no longer had to worry about falling into the toilet in the middle of the night, because you forgot to put the seat back down. I no longer had to worry about you eating my leftovers; even after I put a sticky note on it warning you not to. I no longer have sleepless nights due to your unbearable snoring.

Today I wanted to get over you. I took a walk in the park and sat on a bench. I looked up at the sky for what felt like the first time. I never noticed how blue it is or how the clouds slowly move across it. For a moment, I couldn’t help but admire how subtly beautiful it was. Until my mind snapped back into reality, when I seen a boy jogging by that looked like you.

Today I wanted to get over you. I bought a bottle and took 4 shots of vodka. I thought maybe if I was drunk enough, the heartbreak would begin to simmer. Maybe I’d be bold enough to call, and if you’d pick up I’d blame the alcohol.

I just wanted to hear your voice. I just wanted to know how your day was. I just wanted to know if you still weren’t coming back. I just wanted you to know that I still loved you.

I let all my emotions spill on my voice message. My tears burning more than the liquor. I place my sorrows into a ball. I see that the time is 11:59 PM. I sigh, but I’m confident that tomorrow will be better. Because, tomorrow will be the day I’ll get over you. 

Graduate student, Writer and Lifestyle Blogger.

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