Today I Wanted To Get Over You

Today I wanted to get over you. Your name was the first thing that greeted my mind when I opened my eyes. I then took a shower to drown out all the traces of your touch.

Today I wanted to get over you. My lips touched coffee for the first time in months. You always hated the taste of coffee breath. I wore that yellow dress you were always jealous of, because they held me tighter than you ever could.

Today I wanted to get over you. I worked twice as hard at work to distract my heart. My thoughts constantly inquired what you were doing. I frequently checked my phone in hopes you’d send one of those cheesy memes that always used to make me laugh.

Today I wanted to get over you. I listened to my co-worker Renee complain about her boyfriend for hours. I often ignored her weekly transgressions. But, maybe today, listening to her problems would make me feel a little better.

Because now, my mouth was free of boyfriend complaints. I no longer had to worry about falling into the toilet in the middle of the night, because you forgot to put the seat back down. I no longer had to worry about you eating my leftovers; even after I put a sticky note on it warning you not to. I no longer have sleepless nights due to your unbearable snoring.

Today I wanted to get over you. I took a walk in the park and sat on a bench. I looked up at the sky for what felt like the first time. I never noticed how blue it is or how the clouds slowly move across it. For a moment, I couldn’t help but admire how subtly beautiful it was. Until my mind snapped back into reality, when I seen a boy jogging by that looked like you.

Today I wanted to get over you. I bought a bottle and took 4 shots of vodka. I thought maybe if I was drunk enough, the heartbreak would begin to simmer. Maybe I’d be bold enough to call, and if you’d pick up I’d blame the alcohol.

I just wanted to hear your voice. I just wanted to know how your day was. I just wanted to know if you still weren’t coming back. I just wanted you to know that I still loved you.

I let all my emotions spill on my voice message. My tears burning more than the liquor. I place my sorrows into a ball. I see that the time is 11:59 PM. I sigh, but I’m confident that tomorrow will be better. Because, tomorrow will be the day I’ll get over you. 

About the author
Graduate student, Writer and Lifestyle Blogger. Follow Kayla on Instagram or read more articles from Kayla on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related