I’m pretty sure many of us have found ourselves in this scenario:

You meet a guy and you begin the beloved “talking” stage. Everything is great at first. For a couple of months, you guys text nearly all day and FaceTime all night. You are thinking at any moment he’s going to make it “official.” So you wait. You feel like you’re in a relationship, but he hasn’t even asked you on a date yet (at least, not a formal one, anyway).

You’re conflicted; you think, “Well, we do talk every day” or “He did tell me he likes me a lot.” He may have even hit you with “I can see myself settling down with someone like you.”

You begin to explain the scenario to your friends and they’re all telling you to be patient. Maybe he’s too shy to ask the question and you should make the first move.

The next time you see him or talk to him, the question is hanging in air, flashing above his head like a billboard in Vegas. You wanna ask, “So what are we?” but don’t know if it’s the right time. Now you’re really conflicted. Should you ask? At this point, you’re probably praying to God or the universe to give you some sign that this “relationship” is worth pursuing.

Well guess what? This is the sign.

Don’t ask him anything, because the answer is right in front of you, which is that he’s just not that into you, sis. Now, this is not to say you’re not “girlfriend material,” as this is a common occurrence in today’s dating scene.

This prolonged talking stage has become the birthing ground for a situationship. Situationships involve getting all the benefits of an actual relationship without putting in the real work. Because let’s face it, our generation is lazy AF.

Here are the 4 signs that he’s not that into you, which will help you avoid getting into a situationship.

1. He’s sending mixed signals

We’ve all been a sucker for a smooth talker who seems to know all the right things to say. His empty promises are why you’ve been holding out on hope for so long. He may have told you something like “we’re working on being a relationship” as an excuse. What exactly do you need to work on? Has he formally asked you to be his girlfriend? No, because it’s a lie. He’s saying he wants a relationship but is not doing anything to make it happen. Mixed signals are a big indication that he’s just telling you what you want to hear rather how he really feels.

2. Your conversations lack real substance

Think about it. Do you know anything about him other than what he ate for breakfast this morning? You’ve been talking for months yet you know very little about him. If he avoids getting personal about himself but is all ears about your sexual history, it’s probably because that’s all he cares about. Guys have a habit of making their intentions known without explicitly saying them.

3. You guys never go on dates

Now I may be old fashioned with this one, but if every time you guys hang out it’s in your room or his, he is probably not serious about you. I understand many younger guys may still be in school or looking for work, so you may think he can’t afford to take you out. However, if a guy really wanted to take you out, he would, even if he had to collect cans for a month to do so. It’s all about effort.

4. He does not make you a priority

This one is very important. If there are times where you don’t hear from him for days with no explanation, or every time you try to hang out he has something to do or cancels last minute, he does not prioritize you or your relationship. I understand he may be busy with school or work, but we make time for the things we view are the most important. And if he does not view you as a priority, that just further shows you that he’s just not that into you.

Which is okay because YOU (yes, you) deserve someone who’s not going to play games with you. Someone that will make you a priority and give you the love you deserve. When a guy really likes you, there is no reason to look for a sign, because the answer will be clear.