Read This If You’re Struggling To Come To Terms With Losing Them

Firstly, this is a testament to the love you shared with the person you bared your soul to.

At the end of the day, the people who affect us the most are those we truly let see us. They were the ones we dreamed to grow old with. The ones we found friendship in. The ones we let see our vulnerability, and despite the ugly truth of who we are deep within, they loved us for it. They are the ones who made a home in our hearts by ingraining their signature in the garden that surrounds it, and being hurt by them is difficult because you allowed yourself to care so, so much. But darling, do not fear this feeling. Let this be a reminder that you tried for something that everyone longs to have. Let the hurt become the lesson that fuels your heart to search for the right person. In a society that favors disconnected relationships, you stood against the norm and let someone in; you opened yourself up to a new experience that brought beauty. There is hope and light in that.

When you experience loss, you feel it everywhere in your body. It starts as a quiet hum in the back of your mind and slowly envelopes your entire body by intertwining its fingertips at every heartstring it encounters. It will feel as though your chest has become 1,000 lbs and your stomach can’t support the things it craves. If you are in a moment like this right now, you must understand that this feeling is temporary. In return, by making it out of the wrenching pain, you will become stronger. You will become wiser and learn things about yourself that you would have never learned if it weren’t for this person. This pain is not for nothing. The tears are not wasted if it means that you will come out on the other side stronger than ever.

Once you come to peace with your hurt, know that you grew into a kinder, more forgiving human. When the time comes and you allow forgiveness to cleanse your wounds, you become more conscious of the world around you. Once you’ve won the battle against grief, you then become more self-aware. Because despite the turmoil that raged in your heart, you never let it harden you. You never let it make you something that you are not. So, the compassion that you gained flows into the other relationships in your life and you become responsible to care for their hearts.

But until you reach forgiveness and self-love, remember to be gentle with yourself. Show yourself the grace and kindness that you deserve and are worthy of. Understand that this experience, this human being, served a beautiful purpose in your life. Come to terms with that, sit with it, and find peace within it. We don’t have to hate the people who broke us. That only hurts us in the long run more. If we try to change or grip at that negativity, we are always going to allow for those past experiences to negatively impact our future. Instead, choose to focus on the good—because there is always good, there is always a lesson—and let go. That is true forgiveness.

About the author

Writer. Allow words to strengthen and heal your soul.

Follow Kayla on Instagram or read more articles from Kayla on Thought Catalog. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.