You will let them go in pieces. Sometimes it will happen so slowly, you won’t even notice you are making progress. The process is difficult and uncomfortable. Do not try to numb it. Feel your emotions. Embrace the pain. Humans are incredibly resilient. You will look back one day and wonder how you did it on your own. You will feel stronger than ever for surviving. You survived crushing pain. For now, you will feel as if you are dangling off the edge of a cliff. You’re holding on by a tiny thread, blowing above the crashing waves.
At first you will miss their comfort. You will miss having someone to talk to at the end of the day. Your home will feel empty without them in it. Your heart feels like a million shards of glass cutting you from the inside out. The space their absence created will feel suffocating. Your emotions are in overdrive. Your brain tells you to do everything in your power to win them back. You need relief. Your body needs rest. Getting them back will feel like the only way to survive.
You will try everything you can think of to win them back. You won’t care about losing your dignity in the process, so long as you achieve your goal. None of your attempts will work. It won’t work because the other person simply does not care. They will not feel sorry for hurting you. They will never apologize for the pain they’ve caused you.
It is at this point you will start to realize that if they ever loved you at all, they would not have carelessly created so much pain for you to navigate. The only reason people destroy a relationship is because they truly never prioritized it. It may have meant the world to you, but it meant nothing to them. This realization will cause you even more pain. You must push through it.
You’ll realize that you never needed to let them go because you never truly had them at all. It’s not the person you can’t get over, it’s the pain. You need to let go of the pain. The pain of loving a person that could never love you back. The pain of dedicating years of your life to a person who was never worth a second of it. The pain of seeing them with someone new and watching them move mountains for their new love.
Then you must let it go. Even if you end up alone forever, it will still be better than wasting your life with someone who does not care about you. Read that sentence again. Most people fear ending up alone like it is the worst possible outcome. It is NOT. The worst outcome is ending up in a one-sided relationship where you are the only person who gives a damn about it. If a person leaves you, be grateful. Of course it will hurt like hell but be thankful they did not continue to live a lie with you any longer.
If a person wants to be with you, nothing will stop them. Look at how many people walk away from their own families for another person. They don’t care what they lose in the process. They don’t care how many lives they destroy. They are willing to lose EVERYTHING to be with the person they truly want. Think long and hard about this. You have probably seen evidence of this in your own life. People create all sorts of messes in the name of love.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if someone walks away from you. It simply means you weren’t their person. You were never going to be their person. If someone truly wants to be with you, nothing on this earth will stop them.
Let this be your reminder for those times you think there is something wrong with you or that you will never be able to move on. Move on with your head held high. Move on with peace in your heart knowing that you are closer to finding the person who would do anything to be with you. Move on knowing that no matter what happens, you will be okay.
No one can make you happy except for you. Focus on taking care of yourself. You hear people say this all the time because it is true. Until you are truly 100% happy with your own life, you will never be happy with anyone else. Too many people are in codependent relationships depending on each other for happiness. They end up miserable in the end because they haven’t yet figured out that they need to take care of themselves first. Only then will they be truly happy in their relationship. A truly healthy relationship involves two people taking care of themselves, so they can be their best selves for each other.