Anxiety tells you that something is inherently wrong with you daily.
How can you expect anyone else to understand you if I don’t even understand yourself? Society throws around the term “anxiety” as if it’s something we all share and must all learn how to overcome. What most people are generally dealing with is stress, not anxiety. Stress creeps into your life as a result of looming deadlines, problems that need addressed, and the constant state of busyness we all live in today. Stress usually ends once those stressors are addressed and handled. Anxiety is a constant state of worry that convinces you everything is going wrong. It overthinks, over questions, and over analyzes to the point that no productivity can be achieved.
When you have generalized anxiety, you wake up every day fighting a battle that people without anxiety will never understand. Some days are easier than others. It is especially exhausting in close relationships, especially for loved ones who don’t struggle with anxiety themselves. They become more like therapists than friends and your anxiety will tell you that they love you less because of it. In romantic relationships, the anxiety monster will always be ready to convince you that everything is going terrible. Here are five lies anxiety will tell you about your relationship:
1. Anxiety tells you the entire relationship is one-sided. If you partner doesn’t reassure you regularly, you become convinced that they don’t care about you or the relationship at all. Most of the time, you are able to recognize that these thoughts must not be true. You’ll try to reassure yourself that your partner would not be dating you if they did not care about you deeply. Despite your best efforts, the racing thoughts continue.
2. Anxiety tells you that your partner isn’t interested in your life. It is normal for relationships to ebb and flow. For people with anxiety, the ebbs become debilitating. You start to question every text message, the frequency of phone calls, how many words of affection your partner is using or not using, etc. It is exhausting for you, so you know it must be exhausting for your partner. This will cause you more anxiety.
3. Anxiety tells you that you will never be deserving of happiness. In fact, when you feel overwhelming happiness in a relationship, you start bracing yourself for the next fight. You’ll start picking apart every conversation convinced that there must be some reason your partner is working so hard to appear happy. In reality, your partner has told you multiple times that you need to recognize it’s okay to be happy. The universe is not actually working against you.
4. Anxiety tells you that you will never find true love. Even if you’re in a healthy, happy relationship, anxiety tells you that it will most certainly end. It tells you that when it does end, it will definitely be all your fault and that you will be alone forever. You may even have pity parties for yourself thinking about the lifetime of loneliness definitely waiting ahead in your future.
5. Anxiety tells you the reason your previous relationships have failed is because of your anxiety. A loving partner will work to understand the source of your anxieties in relationships. If you are with someone who truly supports you, they will be patient with you as you work towards a secure bond with them. If not, you are better off if they leave. Some people are not equipped to deal with issues other than their own. If you are in a relationship with an unsupportive partner, while also dealing with anxiety, you have a recipe for disaster. Just remember, your anxiety does not define you. No matter how many lies anxiety tries to tell you, know that you are always deserving of love and happiness.