For most of my life, I have felt like a Russian nesting doll; pretty and adorned on the outside, a veil in the form of brand name clothing and high-end makeup and skincare. I covered all the different parts of me that lay beneath the surface, because I was afraid of how people would view me if I stripped the mask away and stood in my truth. But one day, I decided I could not uphold this so-called ‘image’ of myself any longer; it was exhausting and taxing on my spirit. There is so much more to me if you look inside, look beyond the materialistic and uniform aesthetic – there are layers and love and a multitude of magic.
But here is one of the hardest truths you will arrive at: so many people will look no further than your outward appearance; the way you present yourself to the world via first impressions and, most significantly nowadays, how you exist on social media. Humans are so quick to write one another off. After all, you can do that with a swipe of your finger, or a press of the ‘unfollow’ button. It’s quite jarring, to really stop and think about how easily we can dismiss each other.
Many of the people we end up loving and choosing will not have the capacity to love and choose us back. That is so difficult to comprehend, especially when you are such an empathetic and sensitive human. It never gets easier when someone does not love and choose us back. But when this does happen, we become stronger from it. We hold resiliency and wisdom moving forward, hard truths and knowledge learned that only comes from lived experience.
We become equipped with this collection of lessons, a diverse array of tool in our self-love toolbox. These are the crucial tools that aid us in waving those humans along, the ones that do not have the capacity to hold all of our magic. We continue on our path, and they continue on theirs. The beautiful thing about bittersweet moments such as this, is that we make space in our lives for the ones who will stand by us through the grit and the mess. The humans who will prove to our fractured hearts, time and time again, that they will never leave us. These will be ‘your people, so pay close attention to who you allow into your sacred space. They will champion you, they will wipe your tears when everything you hold inside bursts out of you in the form of big, hot teardrops. They will hold the proverbial light in the darkness, until you find your way back home.
And one more thing: when we meet humans who are not particularly interested in seeking the depths we possess, seeing the wild and messy beneath the surface – that is a reminder to choose yourself. Choose you, unapologetically.