I Often Wonder Where I Fit In Your Story

Alex Boyd

Everyone carries a story: the past, a present and a world to come. I trace my fingers across your scars, a roadmap of your story. Hoping to obtain knowledge of every past significance in your life’s tale. I lay in your arms during your present, and the world around me stands still. All that is important at that precise moment is you. With my head pressing on your chest, I can make out the rhythm of your heart, perfectly in sync with mine. I pray for your future as often as I pray for mine. Wanting nothing more for you than peace, happiness, and longevity.

I believe every soul you come across carries a purpose in your life. Some you meet to be given a valuable lesson, others you come across to serve in teaching a lesson. Not everybody you meet is intended to go a lifetime with you; some are only a piece of your story for a season.

On late nights, when I lay alone and curled up in my bed, I oftentimes wonder where I fit into your story. Will I be your lifetime woman or just a woman in passing for a period?

Is it likely I could be the one? I know you feel it. I see it too. The intense sensation I get when I am with you. For once a home is not an architectural structure but the secure feeling I come to know when I’m in your arms.

You are home for me. A piece of my story and will forever be.

I stand strong by your side thru your interpersonal struggles you fight with love, commitment and settling down. Love scares you and as we take two strides forward in our adventure together, you panic and take five steps backward. Where do I fit into your story?

One day will you glance at me in passing and mention me as “The one that got away”? As the year’s progress, will I be the woman you open up to your son about in desire to influence him not to push a once-in-a-lifetime woman out of his story, feeling certain that he will learn from your mistakes? Or will I be only a memory? A thought you replay over and over again and again in your in your lowest moments when you desire to feel cared for?

I’ve made an effort to come to terms with the alternative possibility. The one where I am only your lifelong friend. Your person. The woman you identify will forever be there looking beyond your demons, continually pointing out the real inside of you. The woman that will watch you from afar as you love another female and smile on the inside because when you genuinely love someone, their happiness matters even if you are not the one contributing to it.

I do not see where I fit into your story. What I know is that you will always be a part of mine. You will remain my person. The one soul I will never turn my back on.

If the fate of life takes us both are separate ways, know that you will always be in my heart. You have taught me so many valuable lessons in life that you aren’t even aware of. I will cherish our memories, the warm tingly feeling I get when I am with you, and the vibes close to my heart. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

The girl that never sleeps because her mind is constantly wondering.

Keep up with Kayla on Instagram, Twitter and Website

More From Thought Catalog