To My Dad (Who Broke My Heart)

Dad,

You broke my heart.

You broke my heart each time you looked at my mom with hate in your eyes. I felt like all of the hate was directed at me. You thought you hid it well, but I saw it every time.

You broke my heart when I found out you cheated. You put a stranger before our family and tore us apart.

You broke my heart when I watched you pack your things with regret. I questioned if you had really meant to hurt us and wondered if my mom should take you back.

You broke my heart when you treated my brothers poorly. They never did anything to deserve that. They just want a dad that loves them.

You broke my heart when you told me you were seeing several women at once. Was our family never enough?

You broke my heart when you told me you would do anything to have my mom back. I thought maybe you were changing for the better.

You broke my heart every time you talked poorly about my mom. I am a product of her, so is that how you feel about me, too?

You broke my heart when you told me you were single, but I saw the woman you cheated on mom with wearing a robe in your yard. I was sick to my stomach when I saw that. Why would you lie to me?

You broke my heart in the quiet times. I spent my time expecting something else to happen and hurt me. I missed the way my father used to be. I wanted my dad back.

You broke my heart when you told me you had a girlfriend. I felt like you were forgetting about us.

You broke my heart when you forced me to meet her. I was not ready and you had no regard for my feelings.

You broke my heart when you moved in with her. You were only dating for two weeks. Is our family so bad that you needed to run away with someone else?

You broke my heart most when you told me you’re engaged over a text. You’ve only been dating for three months. You can barely get to know someone in that time.

You broke my heart. It is in a million pieces. But I am learning how to pick up those pieces on my own. I have become stronger than I have ever been. I know my worth and I know that your actions do not define me. I have dealt with a cycle of hurt and pain for years. As you have chosen this new path in life, I truly wish you well. I hope she gives you what our family couldn’t. I have no idea why you would make the choices that you have, but it’s not my job to figure it out. I am choosing peace. You may not love us enough to stay, but I am going to love myself enough to walk away.

Best wishes,

Your daughter