You don’t see the way his eyes trail off to the girl in a mini skirt as you relay the saddest peak of your life. You never wonder why his hands brush his hair every time your palms reach out for it. You don’t notice the space between your hugs or the forced arch in his smile. And all the little things, spelling out a no.
You keep yourself snuggled under the sheets of empty promises and woeful optimism, looking for what could have been in a room made for one. And the map of promises you drew on the contour of his lips didn’t take long before it breathed someone else’s name. Felicity stretched out in front of you, always an arm’s length, but thousands of almosts apart.
You are not enough. Your words are nothing but mere patched up letters that don’t make sense. Your efforts are just kinetics, it will not change anything. Your presence is a blank space of nothingness. You don’t count. You don’t matter. Your love will never be enough to change him.
You are not a confusion; you are a paradox of truth. The world cannot see the fuel in your veins nor the splendor of your thoughts. And for this, anything you do will be criticized and everything you are will be ostracized, but you can only define you. You will cohere with every heartbreak, trying to fill the stolen piece. You will change for every lover you hold, making a guarantee out of yourself. Because there is no amount of infinite promises and wrapped up hyperboles that can tame a heart. And you have to learn, you have to learn that not everyone you love, will love you back, because even the ones who do, walk away from you.
None of these can delineate your worth. Your value is subjective, it does not cease because no one materializes it. It’s there, as true as the wind your lungs take in, but as inconspicuous as the missing i in the prevous word. You are not enough, you are worth it. You are scattered pieces of metaphor covered in skin and the right person will see this as sublime portentousness
This person will erase every what and if that ever crossed your psyche. And you don’t have to give up anything; you don’t have to compromise, because he will stay. He will, minus any negative constructions of refusal. He will see the sky in your eyes, you will be as vast as the sea and a lifetime is too short for an adventure in the folds of your skin. You are worth it, but to the wrong person, you will never be adequately sufficient.