Remember those moments when you’ve realized that the answer to your prayer is not the ones you expect to have. When it’s a resounding “NO” and even if how hard you pray for it, it just won’t happen.
Yes, it feels so frustrating, so disappointing that you begin to ask God,
“Am I not good enough?”
“Have I not been obedient to you?”
“I’ve done a lot of good things for you, what else did I miss?”
You begin to negotiate with God, rationalizing why you’re supposed to get a Yes, and sometimes He will enlighten you of the reasons why it’s not for you. But you’re persistent and you won’t just stop until it becomes a series of push and pulls; of negotiations and compromise.
In the back of your mind, you know you will not win; you would never convince God to let it happen. So what you do is you try to take this area of your life away from God.
And you ask God, “Yes God, I’m allowing you to be in charge of my life, of everything. Except this one, please let me handle this.”
You then take the pen from God and you try to write your own story. A story where you can put the people you want at the time you please. And you try to take the events you create in your mind to reality.
I’ve been into that and I tried a lot of times to make things happen the way I want them. But it end up more frustrating and more painful. It’s emotionally draining, not only for me but also with the people I looped in my story. It feels like I’m on a spinning loop, up and down, around and around, taking steps forward then falling back only to be back where I am. It shakes my foundation after a while, makes me dizzy and tired until I finally gave up and returned the pen to Him.
I’ve learned that it’s essentially pointless to direct what you cannot plan, cannot control, and cannot shape to fit your desires. That putting your faith in something bigger than yourself is necessary. I’ve then allowed His hand to be over my life and to follow the path he laid for me.
I’ve learned that God’s rejection is a redirection.
It’s his way of saying, “My child this is not the way I want you to take.” He would even sometimes ask you to turn right, left or even take a complete U-turn. But whatever God asks you to do; we have to fully trust on Him.
He is the greatest author; he is the only one who can write the greatest story for you. He knows the exact people to put in your life; he knows the exact timing to put them. He knows exactly how much drama you need, how much laughter, and how much failure and pain.
He always wants a story of growth and learning, of failure and rebuilding. He doesn’t want you to live a monotonous boring life and he doesn’t want you to be the same person as you are in the beginning. He always wants you to change, to always be a better version of your yesterday self. He always wants your story to be a story of victory, of triumph, a story worth sharing, a story that will inspire and motivate others.
Never ever try to steal that pen away from him and remember those moments when you are immersed in worship, raising your hand in the air and laying your life to God. Remember those times when you allow God to take control of your life, all aspect of your life. And when you say all, it means ALL.
Don’t let difficult times change this attitude towards God. Don’t let his “NO” or his “WAIT” change you. Be patient and wait on him to unfold the story He has for you.