Everyone always tells you to never bring up an ex (or your past dating experiences) when you are dating someone new. They tell you it starts your dating off on a bad note. They tell you no one wants to hear it. They tell you it doesn’t matter…. Well it does.
I am defined by my past, whether I want to be or not. It has changed me, scarred me, taught me and even helped me. When I begin dating someone new, I feel I have an obligation to explain to them my past… not because I am ashamed, not because I am wounded- but because it is a part of who I am.
If I don’t tell you about the drug addicts, how will you understand that I am afraid of you falling victim to the same monster?
If I don’t tell you about the numerous times I’ve been cheated on by multiple men, how will you understand that I am constantly worried that you will do the same?
If I don’t tell you about the probably hundreds of times I’ve been lied to, how will you understand when I have a little bit of doubt in my mind?
I feel it would be wrong to NOT tell someone I am dating these things. I think he should know about my past, and I want to know about his as well. I want to know how he has been hurt and what caused the downfall of his relationship too.
What this all comes down to is communication, openness and honesty. I believe that if you start off a relationship with these three aspects then you are starting off on a positive note. I believe that no one should have to hide the hurt that they have endured- especially when beginning a new adventure. You can agree with me or not- but, this is how I choose to live my life.