Why It’s Okay To Talk About Your Exes (Even If They Are Crazy)

Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi
Flickr / Chiara Cremaschi

Everyone always tells you to never bring up an ex (or your past dating experiences) when you are dating someone new. They tell you it starts your dating off on a bad note. They tell you no one wants to hear it. They tell you it doesn’t matter…. Well it does.

I am defined by my past, whether I want to be or not. It has changed me, scarred me, taught me and even helped me. When I begin dating someone new, I feel I have an obligation to explain to them my past… not because I am ashamed, not because I am wounded- but because it is a part of who I am.

If I don’t tell you about the drug addicts, how will you understand that I am afraid of you falling victim to the same monster?

If I don’t tell you about the numerous times I’ve been cheated on by multiple men, how will you understand that I am constantly worried that you will do the same?

If I don’t tell you about the probably hundreds of times I’ve been lied to, how will you understand when I have a little bit of doubt in my mind?

I feel it would be wrong to NOT tell someone I am dating these things. I think he should know about my past, and I want to know about his as well. I want to know how he has been hurt and what caused the downfall of his relationship too.

What this all comes down to is communication, openness and honesty. I believe that if you start off a relationship with these three aspects then you are starting off on a positive note. I believe that no one should have to hide the hurt that they have endured- especially when beginning a new adventure. You can agree with me or not- but, this is how I choose to live my life. TC mark

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