So you’ve had your heart broken like it couldn’t ever be pieced together again. You’ve been rejected, mistreated and hurt. You’ve cried your heart out and abused your liver and your legs by consuming too many alcoholic drinks every night and countless trips to one bar after another in fruitless attempts to dance your pain away, or more. You feel like nobody could ever understand your heartache and you know your friends think you’re being stupid because you’ve ignored any advice that could have otherwise kept you from breaking in the first place. You have sworn off love in hopes of keeping whatever sanity you have left.
Wise lyrics from The Script once said: “Cause when a heart breaks, no it don’t break even.”
You might have loved more in the relationship. You might have given more, and in the end, gotten hurt more. You are afraid of losing yourself again that badly.
It will be okay.
I have spouted off numerous pieces on getting hurt, moving on, being afraid to fall in love again and the search for Mr. Right, even when, with my track record, I personally have no business talking about the subject. You see, however hard it is to move on, wherever you are right now is nowhere near that emotional wreck you were six months or even a year ago. So how can you even think about going back through that process just to end up as that pathetic, whiny little person that got left behind?
It is goddamned frightening to think about putting yourself out there again, knowing that every second is ticking by, waiting for you to take the wrong step and slip back to that can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, hurts-like-hell moment.
But do you remember how it felt like to be in love? That dopey smile you couldn’t keep off your face and the butterflies that never seemed to stop flitting around in your stomach. That feeling of knowing someone out there was completely in love with you—someone who knew you best (smelly feet and all) and accepted you in spite of all your flaws.
It’s scary to put yourself out there again, but isn’t it just as terrifying to know that you will never be that ecstatically happy again? Now I know that a significant other shouldn’t make your entire life worth living. But it does make it a brighter life a bit, doesn’t it?
It’s okay to fall in love, and even to be the one who loves more. Just remember that there’s a fine line between loving someone more and loving someone with a love so all-consuming that you forget to love yourself in the process.
Take the time while you’re alone to love yourself and learn to be better. Whatever you look for in a partner, be that person, too. Don’t punish that person for an exes’ mistake. Don’t punish yourself for a past you have already learned from, if not healed from.
There won’t be any guarantee that you will never get hurt again, but if you don’t let yourself fall, there will never be any guarantee that you will find your happily-ever-after. The One isn’t waiting for you. That One is looking for you, and that One deserves to be searched for as well.
Be cautious, that’s normal. But don’t hold yourself back completely from ever finding love again, because after all the pain you’ve endured, don’t you deserve to find the person that will teach you why you had to get hurt?
It’s okay to fall in love. If you let yourself, there is every possibility that you will question yourself. And you will get hurt. And you will cry.
But if you don’t let yourself? You will lose the chance of maybe finding your happily ever after. And all because you let an old mistake scare you away from the one who could have made it right.