The Inner Monologue Of A Girl On Tinder Vs. The Inner Monologue Of A Guy On Tinder

Oh Tinder… where do I even begin?

(Special thanks to Ryan for sharing his deep and honest thoughts about Tinder. Ladies, he’s single…. ;))

A. Girls

1. (After 10 minutes of swiping) Okay, so what happened to all the attractive people….

2. Oooh, I like this one *swipes to next photo* Aaaaannd nope.

3. Why can’t people just be honest about what they look like on the first photo?

4. “Lior” is not a name. I can’t date a Lior.

5. I get it, you’re “outdoorsy”.

6. I get it, you’re “hilarious”.

7. I get it, you’re “probably going to murder me if I ever leave you”.

8. OH GOD SOMEONE I KNOW. What do I do? I’ll “X” them…is that rude? I mean, we’re friendly… but I don’t want to have the awkward Facebook message ”sooo.. I saw you on Tinder :p” talk. AHHH.

9. There are 3 people in this photo. JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.

10. *after another 10 minutes of swiping left you got so use to swiping that direction that you accidentally swiped left to a fairly attractive person*

11. This guy says he digs “modern girls.” What…what’s a modern girl?

12. I should probably tell people who message me that I’m only doing this for a blog… But then they might ask about the blog… I’ll just say nothing.

13. Doss is a name, too?!!!

14. Haircuts: They matter. Dear sweet god, they matter.

15. NO MORE HATS.

16. Wait.. that hat looks good.

17. Why does every guy post their height on Tinder?

18. Realizing that the only ones that list their heights are the ones who are happy about their heights.

19. “My minds teling me nooooooo…..” I give him props for the R.Kelly reference in his bio though.

20. Oh shit I accidentally pressed like. Hope he doesn’t message me.

21. OH MY GOD I just stumbled onto Ryan Gosling’s prodigy. I hope he swipes right on me.

B. Guys

1. Nice head shots Ashley, but this isn’t Michael Bay’s casting app.

2. I probably shouldn’t be doing this on the toilet, but I am going to anyway. Swipe n’ wipe.

3. Oh, you’re not here to “hook up” Katie?

4. Yup definitely a dude.

5. 8 miles away means I really need to change my proximity settings…

6. You celebrate Halloween a lot. I mean a lot.

7. Two girls one X.

8. The 2009 version of you was pretty hot. Where the 2014 at, though?

9. We both like Subway so our first date is going to be cheap and terrible.

10. I hope you’re the hot one…

11. I wonder what you’d look like bent across a table.

12. Please stop Googling Marilyn Monroe quotes and using them for your profile.

13. I know you’re a porn site girl, but it makes me feel good to know you’ll definitely like me, even though it isn’t real. 🙁

14. That’s a huge scarf… seriously where did you get that huge ass scarf?

16. I like the attention to detail in those double dots over the “e,” Zoë.

17. Your food interests made me hungry.

18. Oh…. why hello there. BABE.

19. Can’t wait to follow you on Instagram, then forget who you are, then randomly “like” one of your sunset pics!

20. We have the same name! Is it destiny or is Morgan just a popular unisex name?

21. Is “where did you get that cowboy hat? I’m looking into buying a cowboy hat, myself…” a good opening line?