This Is What I Really Meant By Unconditional Love

I. I thought it was me.

I. I thought I was the one who was making you happy. I thought I was the only one making you laugh. I thought I was the one making you savour every second of your life.

I. I waited because I knew I deserved you.

I. I became impatient and at one point, I needed answers. I wanted you to tell me you want me too, that maybe you even want me more.

I. I still waited. But the answers, the answers just struck me. So hard I began to fall into the same hole my heart once had.

You. You gave me her name. That was enough. That was what I needed — to know what we really have.

You. You were never direct. You will use similes, metaphors and every figure of speech known in the book, and I thought that those were signs. Signs I don’t want to believe in, but because I wasn’t warned of the danger in building assumptions, I thought that all I can do at that moment is to let go of the thoughts I had in my mind, and try and fly even if I know I might die.

 You. You love her. You’re completely happy when you’re with her.

She. She is not perfect. But I guess, she is perfect in those eyes of yours, eyes that never lured me into your territory, but made me want to stay and I don’t know why I did. I don’t know how I did.

She. She is just like me. She’s smart, beautiful and elegant. She also plans everything. She loves her career and most importantly, she loves herself. But she doesn’t love you enough.

And you, you will never see that.

I. I now know why you loved talking to me. I reminded you of her. I reminded you of what you can’t have at the moment.

I. I am fine now. I just needed to take my time and understand why you can love her, but you can’t choose to be happy by being with me.

I. I reminded myself of the unconditional love I promised you. I, I will forever be here, even at a distance, cheering you through every obstacle that you will need to face in order to attain the happiness you deserve.

I. I am glad. I am proud of you because I learned how much you can love a girl, even if that girl will never be me. I will support you all the way. I will remind you to patiently wait for her. I will remind you of how much you love her.

But,

If someday you realize that you’re never going to be happy with her and finally know that I was the one who is really making you happy, I will not stay.

I. I will choose to leave. Because in the next days to come, I will choose to be happy even without you.

You. You chose her. That means, you’ll never love me enough. You will always love her more.

We. We don’t deserve to be with each other, maybe just as friends, but nothing more. We have unconditional love for each other. Now, I am entirely certain that we, we don’t need labels to ruin that.

And as long as you’re happy, I’ll be alright.