Yes, we’ve all been there.
A man takes notice, and starts to pursue you in one way or another. Shortly after a few great dates, flowers, sweet texts and phone calls, you get the hots for this guy. This leads to hours on end of chatting away with our girlfriends, gay husbands, and even male friends on how to decode mens behavior.
Within minutes of feeling those tingly little butterflies, you start to wonder where ‘you’ went – that is, the smart, emotionally stable, ‘got their s*&$ together’ person? You realize that your brain is being taken over by a sense of vulnerability. Now you are analyzing his every move, restlessly and hopelessly anticipating… something.
But is your anticipation legit? Is this the unfurl of a blossoming new romance, or have you drank the idealist koolaid and bought a one-way ticket to disillusionment city?
Here are five ways to know that he definitely is, in fact, into you. These factors are absolute, and based on primal male genetic coding since the beginning of time. There also based on my personal experience, from ass kicked, hard learned lessons. Enjoy.
1. He wants to know everything about you.
Do you remember that crush you had? Whether he was a fantasy celebrity, or that guy sitting across the room from you in Advanced English class, your mission was the same. You had find out all you can about this person. Not so much in a stalker or spy sense (although that is very necessary at times). It’s is instinctual, folks. When you are totally into someone, you naturally want to find out all you can about that person. The same holds true for hobbies, interests and groups you wish to belong to. But that’s an article for another day, so let’s stick to the topic at hand, which are men.
Lucky for us, modern day technology makes it even easier to find out all you can about almost anyone (thank you social media). The guy who’s truly into you will know things about you that you haven’t even told him yet- lots of things. You’ll hear occasional phrases from him like, ‘Oh I know, I saw on your Facebook…’ You will get ‘likes’ and comments on your photos/status every now and then from him.
Now, there’s certainly a code of ethics in the cyber sphere, and moderation is your best friend when ‘researching’ a person of interest. We are not talking about crazy stalkers. We’re talking about the guy who can’t get you out of his mind, so instead of coming on too strong and pushing you away, he goes to the second best thing.. your online avatar (i.e. social media profiles). Friends and family members also serve as viable information fountains.
2. He’s a gentleman. Period.
Sorry peeps, but this one gets no exception. Yes, I know no one is perfect, and we’re not saying that he has to be. At the same time, when you want to impress someone, you will put your best foot forward, period. Whether it’s making that sports team, getting that job or getting the girl and/or guy. It comes from the same drive. It all goes back to our instincts. When a man is around a woman he is attracted to, his natural protection instincts kick in. The result? He opens doors for you, he walks you through the icy snow/mud/grass so you don’t crack your butt. He checks up on you regularly, he holds your hand in public to let the world know you’re his muse. He won’t pressure or rush you into anything that you are not ready to do. He is there for you. He supports you.
Lastly, this is a BONUS: If he is falling in love with you, then he will make sure that he is the first person you speak to in the morning, and the last person he speaks to at night. He will take care of you (not in the superficial material sense). Meaning, if he knows you are working hard and on the struggle, he won’t let your electricity, cell phone, gas etc. get turned off. Nor will he let you get evicted, or put in harm’s way.
3. He will text and call you… DAILY.
Yes this is a no brainer, but I must list this one, as we all tend to ‘conveniently’ forget about this important one when making excuses for our guys. It’s plain and simple. When you’re into someone, you want to hear from them, even if it’s just to check in and say hello. Yes, we know they are busy. But guess what? There are people out there curing cancer, fighting wars and running countries. And many of them have great marriages/relationships. Again peeps, don’t underestimate human nature.
4. He will have time for you.
When a guy is into you, he will have time for you. Allow me to rephrase that. When a guy is into you, he will make time for you, effortlessly. We all tend to make time for the things we really want to do. Like that time you played your soccer game, rain or shine? Or got in your car, despite freezing -0 degree temperatures or mounting snow to drive to wherever you wanted to go? Right. It’s like we said in the above statement, it’s okay that he’s busy. Hell, we’re all busy. President Obama is busy. Jay Z is busy. Mayor De Blasio is busy as well. Trust me, if you are on the list of things he desires, he will find time to spend with you, no matter how short.
5. You just know.
Yes, it’s that simple. Trust you intuition. If you really think about it, you’ll find that the answer you’re seeking is already in you… in your gut. Our souls intuitively know who to invite into our lives, and who to reject. This knowing sometimes has a survival value. You will now in a spiritual, energetic sense whether he’s into you or not. Listen to that feeling. I cannot stress this enough. Those God given instincts of yours will never lead you astray.