I Believe In This Kind Of Love

couple in bed
Toa Heftiba

I believe in a love that is protective and respectful. I want to know that a man always has my back as I have his. That he’ll defend me if I’m not there to defend myself, and that he won’t let his buddies compliment me in a disrespectful way, because at the end of the day, I am only his woman. When someone hurts or disrespects him, I will stand up and go to bat for him, and protect him the same way he’ll protect me.

I believe in a playful, passionate love. A love that is fun and spontaneous. I want to dance around in the kitchen while cooking together. I want him to passionately kiss me and swiftly shift gears and break out into a full-on tickle fight. I want to get competitive while playing games, knowing that we have our own version of fun trash talk and that whoever wins will make sure the other also is rewarded.

I believe in a consistent love. A love that knows no boundaries, a love that never falters. I want someone who will be by my side through the good and bad times. I want to know that our love will not fade or dissipate when times get tough, but rather, it will strengthen and be solidified through those times. Knowing that when you go through hell together, your potential to come out stronger than before is so much greater than it would have been had everything been fine.

I believe in a love that works through misunderstandings. A love that looks at those misunderstandings as opportunities to learn about one another. It is inevitable that we will argue, inevitable that you will get annoyed every so often. Even though two people love each other, love is not always easy. Life happens. We get irritated, we stress, we get sad, we misinterpret, we overthink, we read too much into little things. We are faced with conflict and we can choose to either work through it and move forward or let it break us. I choose moving forward through it.

I believe in a love that accepts. A love that does not judge. A love that embraces individuality. I want a man who will love all of me, including my faults, a man who will accept me for the things I cannot control, like an illness or my past, a man who will appreciate how far I’ve come and how hard I’ve had to fight to get to where I’m at. I want to love a man who can be completely vulnerable and transparent with me, knowing that even in a heated moment or argument, I would never betray his trust or judge him on what he has confided to me. I want him to know that I’ll always be there to support him, to cheer him on, to catch him when he falls, and to love him unconditionally.

I believe in a love that is loyal. I want to go to sleep at night and not worry about a man being out with his friends. I want to feel secure in knowing that our love is more than enough for him, that he’ll never be searching for something else, or just staying with me because he’s waiting for something better to come along. I want to go through life with someone who, with every day that passes, is more and more convinced that our place in life is by each other’s sides.

I am not desperately trying to find someone to love or find someone to love me. I am not chasing a love that should happen naturally. I know what I expect from a partner because I know what I will give to him. I will give him all of myself… unfiltered, vulnerable, and transparent. And so I will not settle for a love that is less than, because all of this is the love I believe in. And all of this is the love I will wait for. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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