A Final Letter To The Man Who Threw Away Our Chance

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Hailey Reed / Unsplash

I’ve put aside the hurt to write you this. I’ve set emotions aside so I could tell you what you never gave me the chance to say. But I know you’ll never read this, and that’s too bad because they are things you should know. 

I really am sorry it didn’t work out. In fact, I was quite sad about it for a few days. Sad about how you could cut me off and dismiss me so easily from your life when we’d be getting to know each other, sad because I cared for you.

It started as a friendship, but the potential for something more was always there. Friendship first and foremost is what I want out of a partner, I want to like each other. And then comes the opportunity to build on that. I knew you were stuck in a quasi-relationship that you were unhappy in, so a friendship is what we were working toward. Had the circumstances been different, things would’ve progressed sooner.

You confused me for months, telling me how interested you were but how you were trying to get out of your situation. You confused me because, it’s really not that difficult to make that decision, and besides the fact that it’s not only unfair to her to stay, it’s unfair to lead me on. In confusing me, you caused me to doubt. Doubt that if we ever became romantic, I would one day be in the same position as that other woman. And so I stayed guarded…trying not to allow myself to develop feelings beyond friendship so I’d be protected.

We opened up with each other, laughed, learned the little things about one another, enjoyed the fun banter back and forth, and not only did I become very comfortable with you, but I began seeing the potential for something more and found myself even imagining it.

But then…one simple misunderstanding and you threw it all away. Things were so comfortable, and my heart was finally opening up, but I was faced with the harsh truth: that after months, there was still another woman. You said I confused you, but I didn’t…I was simply myself, unfiltered, raw, and vulnerable.

What’s worse is that semi-ghosting me and turning so cold towards me was a spit in the face of my vulnerability and honest confusion. But you never gave me a chance to say it in person, to explain how I felt, to share these feelings with you before you decided it would be best to completely cut me off with no explanation. I know you did me a favor because there is no way I can have a partner, or even a friend, who runs at the first sign of conflict. I want someone who is capable and adult enough to have an open discussion.

So this is my final letter to you. My letter to tell you that it’s sad we never got a real shot. It’s too bad you couldn’t end a relationship you were unhappy in just so you didn’t disappoint someone else. At the end of the day, you’re doing her a disservice, as well as yourself. It’s sad that we’ll never know just what could’ve been between us, and that’s the most unfortunate part of all…because I saw it so clearly. I saw an “us,” and going based on the relationship we were building, it honestly would have been something extraordinary. TC mark

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