To the person reading this: I know sometimes you feel like you don’t have it together, but let me assure you: you are right where you’re supposed to be in your life. I know you get sad, wish things were different, and wonder what could’ve been had you been faced with alternate life circumstances. Believe me…I get it, I’m with you. I get sad more than I admit sometimes, and find myself imagining what could’ve been different in my life. Our minds are always wandering, playing out different scenarios in our heads, going through the “what-if’s.”
Society wants us to believe that we should have certain things achieved by certain ages, so we strive for that. If our lives go down a different road and don’t match societal expectations, we worry that we’re doing something wrong. We start questioning all the decisions we made that led to where we’re at, but don’t always look at the circumstances that surrounded those decisions.
So what if things aren’t exactly as we thought they would be? We’re allowed to sometimes worry that we don’t have our shit together. Our ability to stress, over think and reason makes us human, and it’s completely normal. I’m still learning that the only expectations that matter are the ones I have for myself, and that there is no such thing as a “normal” life. Nothing is standard, set in stone, or laid out in a manual.
The most important thing we can do is accept where we’re at and trust where we’re going. Reflect on the past, live in the present, welcome the future.
Our past, comprised of memories and lessons, has helped shape us into the people we’ve become, and will continue to do so. We cannot change what has already happened, but we can decide how we move forward. If something didn’t work out the way we wanted it to, we know that it was probably for the best.
Right now, in this moment, let’s ditch the underlying need to try and meet bullshit standards, and instead, meet our own, remembering that there is no such thing as a standard life, that our journeys are unique. Let’s find comfort in knowing that at some point, we’ve all felt lost, that we were doing everything wrong, that we had no purpose. Let’s stop worrying that our past or things we can’t control make people think of us differently. And remember this: your past does not dictate your future, just as an unfortunate hand of cards you were dealt does not define you. You are so much more than the variables of life.
So be proud of each moment, the barriers and detours, the breakthroughs and successes. Embrace all of it. And above all, continue to be unapologetically you, the beautiful perfectly imperfect soul you are. We all have the power to create our futures, so let’s give ourselves a break, trust that we’re doing the best we can, and know that we don’t have to prove anything to anyone but ourselves. Because this thing called life? We’re in it together.