At 33, I’m still learning that it’s okay to put myself first. To realize that my needs are important in a relationship just as much as my partner’s. To not give all of myself and get nothing in return.
Because it seems that everyone else puts their needs first, and people will continue to use you if you let them. If you continue to give, they will continue to take. I understand now that sometimes, I need to take as well.
I’m still learning that just because you give your heart to someone, it doesn’t meant that they will reciprocate. There is never a guarantee in love, there is only the effort you both put in. If you give your heart to someone and expect nothing back, the only guarantee will be heartbreak. No matter how much pain I’ve gone through with this, it’s something I still find difficult to
I’m still learning how true friends will love you more than you love yourself sometimes. That they will consistently be there for you, listening to your problems, and lifting you up when you’re down. They will always support you and give you advice, and if it seems abrasive, it’s only because the truth is difficult to hear, but they want the best for you. The unconditional love from a good friend is one of life’s greatest gifts.
I’m still learning that it’s okay to feel lost at some point. That it’s okay to cry and have an emotional break because you’re overwhelmed. It’s okay to have doubt about your career or where you’re at in your life. That there is no specific path everyone needs to be on. That things can’t be set in stone because life is full of variables, and the key is learning how to flow with the changes. I’m learning that as a 33 year old former business owner, it’s okay to take the time I need to figure out what my next steps are. Trusting that I’m supposed to be where I’m at right now. That life isn’t a race and things happen in time.
I’m still learning that settling is different than accepting. It’s not okay to settle for something I don’t want, something that’s less than I deserve, something that causes me pain. But I can accept the reality of things as they are in the moment and choose to change them and move forward. That standing by the standards I’ve set isn’t selfish, it’s self-respect.
Most importantly, I’m still learning to love myself. Learning to push away the doubts that sometimes creep in. Remembering that I am worthy of the love I give, that my heart and feelings matter. That above all… I am more than enough.