One of the hardest things to accept in heartbreak is being left for someone else. Especially when you’re in love and are so happy in your relationship. Where did you go wrong? Where did you not see that this was happening on the side? Could it have been avoided?
So many thoughts and self-doubt creep into our minds in this situation because it’s the only way we know how to cope. Overanalyze, figure out how this happened, think of how you sent him running. First of all, it’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong except love someone who was much too selfish. You loved someone who loved himself and his own desires too much that he didn’t care about yours.
The process involved in mending our broken heart is not an easy one nor does it happen quickly. Especially when you are left for another woman. This heartbreak can be devastating. But before you get lost in your sorrow, you need to remember a few very important things.
1. It’s important to realize that just because it’s over, your hurt will not automatically go away. It wouldn’t be normal if it did go away so quickly, and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. You need to cry, you need to mourn the loss of something that felt so beautifully right. It’s not fair that it ended the way it did, or that you got so emotionally attached and gave your all to a relationship that, looking back and being honest with yourself, probably wasn’t the best relationship for you. Cry it out, wear black and mourn, but work through it. Don’t get consumed by your grief because it’s not worth it.
2. You’re going to miss him. His quirks, his laughter, his touch. You’re going to miss the way you were together. How everything was smooth and flowed so easily. How it felt right. In every relationship, even the toxic ones, there is something that makes you stay, something that makes you happy. Is it the way he treats you when it’s just you and him? The way he looks into your eyes and tells you he loves you? The way you feel laying next to him? Whatever it is, we always miss something about the person who left us, especially if we don’t see it coming or don’t understand why it happened at first.
3. You will feel resentment. It’s okay to look in the mirror and wonder how the hell he didn’t choose you. You both made each other so happy. What’s not okay is to start doubting yourself because he chose someone else. The truth is there was nothing you could have done to prevent him from making that choice, or making your relationship work. Nothing you could have done to make him realize that you were the best choice.
4. You’re going to learn to trust your intuition. There are signs in every relationship that we choose to neglect sometimes. These warning signs are our “gut instinct,” the feeling that something just isn’t quite right. You know these signs because you actively ignored them and brushed them aside. You believed that they were your own insecurity and you didn’t want to sabotage the relationship.
5. Don’t think you weren’t good enough. Hell no. You didn’t deserve the way you were left. You didn’t deserve the lies, or the constant “I love you’s”, or all the other verbal nonsense you believed. Don’t feel bad that your heart was manipulated , and that he used your love but didn’t reciprocate the way you needed it back.
6. You DO deserve better. You deserve someone who looks at you, and only you. You deserve someone who is your partner in love, who receives your love and gives it back to you with his whole heart. You don’t deserve to be just another choice among others, you deserve to be the only choice. Remember your worth, darling. You deserve it all.