Thought Catalog

Read This If Your Friends Keep Telling You He’s Toxic

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Unsplash / Serge

Social media is full of memes of cynicism in the form of modern female empowerment. The “I don’t need a man” or “he’s a fuckboy” or “boy bye.”

But guess what? When you’re in that moment, truly living in an emotionally draining relationship, it’s anything BUT easy to say “boy, bye.”

The art of letting go is more than just a saying… it’s work, and it’s extremely difficult.

How do you let go of something you know you should’ve had a real chance at?

Life sometimes throws us into these situations to see how we handle them. With relationships, there is always a lesson to be learned. But what if we are so engulfed that we don’t understand the lesson being taught?

More importantly, what if we just aren’t ready to really deal with the ugly truth of it all? What if we don’t see all the warning signs our best friends so lovingly make us aware of?

We make ourselves believe that our friends just don’t know him. They don’t know the situation, or why he has commitment issues, or how he’s been hurt.

They don’t understand how when it’s just you and him, nothing else matters, no one else exists, and it’s the best feeling because it feels so natural and right.

Know what your friends do understand? They understand that he’s manipulating you. They understand that you need to let go so someone better can come into your life and show you what being truly happy is.

They understand that you deserve to always smile and be treated with respect and love.

They tell you this every time you cry to them and they keep supporting you unconditionally. They love you more than you love yourself sometimes because you keep allowing the pain and heartbreak.

The cycle of hysterical sobs, doubt, insecurity, sadness, and regret is viciously unhealthy. Going through highs and lows… momentarily recovering… getting spun in the web all over again… repeat.

But then something amazing happens. You finally have a moment when you realize you’ve been in this cycle for years, and you start to understand.

You understand that crying every day is not the way to live your life. You understand that your friends are right, you do deserve better, and you need to start loving yourself more.

You understand that he didn’t choose you, and you need to be thankful that he didn’t.

This is the point in your life when you have to truly let go of the relationship that is truly toxic. The point where you can’t do anything to change what you’ve been trying to maintain control over for so long.

The point where you realize that you are worth more than what you’ve allowed yourself to become and what you’ve accepted as treatment for so long.

The point where you look in the mirror, wipe away your tears, and make a conscious decision that in this moment, you will start over and move on.

That in this moment, you will make every attempt to truly let go. TC mark

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