This Is Why You Should Forgive Yourself

Julia Caesar
Julia Caesar

Do you ever listen to the conversations that go on inside of your head?

I know that sounds bat shit crazy.

But, seriously — do you ever monitor the self-talk that bounces around after you arrive at the platform as the subway doors close or you see a spelling mistake as you click send? Does your voice in your head err on the side of shit-shit-shit-how-can-I-be-so-dumb or more like alright-well-here-goes-another-one?

Because, while those conversations may seem fleeting and random, they are just as important as your entire genetic makeup. They shape who You are.

The only difference is — unlike your DNA, You can change how Nice you are to You. And those changes don’t just affect You.

They impact how you act out in the Real World.

Some days, I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Some days (Mondays), I push snooze 5 times too many. I forget my lunch and my work shoes and that I have an early meeting.

I beat myself up for messing up, for Being Human.

So, I have to remind myself that I’m nice and smart and can totally rock jeans & Nikes without looking like a mom.

And, once I start giving myself compliments instead of shitting on top of my already shitty morning, I keep it up.

“Okay — so what,” that little voice in my head says with a tiny bit more conviction, “So what that I might be a little bit late to work. And that I forgot to wash the dishes last night. And, as a matter of fact, that I have no clue what I want to do with my life.”

It happens. Life happens.

The important part is that I trust myself to figure it out.

As I walk down the street, the reality that life ain’t So Bad sinks in. I smile a little bit more at strangers and notice a pep in my step.

Because, when have I truly ever let myself down?

These mini motivational speeches are the difference between being mediocre and Great.

But, how do you cultivate that Magical self-talk? How do you get that shitty little voice to stop bringing you down?

Well, here are a few ideas that help me dig myself out of that downward spiral, and show myself a little bit of l-o-v-e:

Get To Know Yourself

If you don’t really know who you are — what makes you ticked off and what makes you pumped up — you need to spend some time with You.

For me, I really got to understand the way my mind works while Running. This is super Elizabeth Gilbert (#eatpraylove), but I used to get myself excited to go for a run by telling myself I could have a “vent sesh”…with Me.

Yep, that’s right. I rewarded myself for going on a run but talking in my head.

Maybe I am bat-shit-crazy?

But, maybe I’m not. Because, experts everywhere (i.e. Oprah) agree that allowing yourself to build up that inner Advocate voice happens when you get to know You. When you spend some time “venting” to your BFF, aka You.

And remember — “never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”

Forgive Yourself, No One Is Perfect

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are going to have bad days.

There are going to be days when you think you’re on fire and no one can stop you and killed it at the gym and didn’t manage to burn down the building while heating up your lunch.

Hell yeah.

But then, there will be the days when you can’t find your umbrella and the subway was running local and you added the wrong Jim to your email (CFO not the tech guy).

Forgive yourself. It happens. In those moments, try to find a little laughter (I bet Big Jim never gets emails like this one).

Shit like this happens to everyone. You’re only perfect when you come Home the day before Thanksgiving.

Honor Your Dreams

You thought of that idea for a reason.

No matter if it’s deciding to go to the movies on a Friday, or apply for a new job — don’t let yourself get swayed by others (or that evil little voice in your head).

Some part of it must have been valid at some point.

Be kind to You. Listen to your ideas, just as you would for a friend (that you’re nice to at least, anyway).

Trust In Your Road

Things will work out.

Even if it doesn’t seem like it will (especially on Mondays).

But, take a look at yourself — you’ve made it Here. You are doing awesome. You are living the dream. Well, maybe not everyday, but you are.

Adulting is hard. Growing up can be shitty and confusing and weird. But, if you look back at your track record so far, why shouldn’t you trust yourself?

Whenever I enter a new situation — whether I’m traveling solo or giving a big presentation, I take a look at myself in the mirror and smile. Because, I’ve done this before. Even if I haven’t done that exact thing, I’ve done something like it.

And it wasn’t half bad.

The one good part about getting older? Your track record keeps growing, and you have all the more reason to trust in your road.

So, I challenge you — be Kind to yourself today. Combat those evil thoughts with the voice of your little Advocate (says Oprah).

And, watch something magical happen. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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