So I guess this is the line I’m supposed to wait in for the class. I wish I wasn’t new here so I could look a little more confident. I wonder if people are judging me for my outfit? I’m only wearing minimal clothing because it’s a million degrees out, I’m not trying to get attention, I promise!
The instructor is so cool looking. Wow I could never pull off those sweatpants. And that messy bun. I bet she has a really cool name like Layla or something. Ok, this stretching thing is nice. It’s simple and easy. Slow and steady wins the race.
And now we’re jumping. And still jumping. Oh God she just changed the move right when I was starting to get it. The song is over now let me get some water before I die. Oh wait, no time for that; the next song is starting. And we’re jumping again. Oh Lord help me. My lungs are about to explode.
How does she make the moves look so good? Maybe if I stick my butt out a little more I’ll look more like her. Nope that didn’t work at all. I think now I just look even dumber than I did before. Oh I like this move, it’s kind of sexy. It just looks so much better on her than it does on me. What is this sorcery that she has to make everything look so damn perfect?!
I’m just going to chug this entire water bottle halfway through the class. I’ll have to crawl my way to a water fountain when this is over. The girl upfront is way too into this class. Like, we get it, you’ve done this before and you clearly know what you’re doing. YOU ARE NOT SHAKIRA DARLING! CALM DOWN! Oh Lord what did I just taste? Are those tears? Nope, that’s sweat. I’ve never tasted my own sweat before.
It’s almost over, thank God! Maybe this will be the cool down song. Nuh uh, this is way too face paced for that. And we’re jumping up and down again. And again…and again. Breathe!!! Don’t forget to breathe! I can’t do this, I need my inhaler! No! Don’t be that girl who can’t finish the class, stick it out! Look, I’m getting my second wind. This is great! I CAN DO THIS!
And we’re cooling down now. Thank God! She even makes breathing look hot, that’s so annoying. I look like I just went swimming in a pool of my own sweat. I’m going to have to book it out of here so no one sees me like this. Please don’t let me run into anyone I know!
Wow, I’m exhausted. I don’t even think I have strength to drive home. But I feel like I just burned 5,000 calories. It was totally worth it. Now I can eat ice cream without feeling guilty.