Anxiety isn’t living in fear every day. It’s wanting to do things but feeling like you can’t.
I promise you, there is more people than you know dealing with anxiety. Probably someone really close to you. A lot of us wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at them. I say this because I’m probably one of those people.
If you asked me at what point did this become an issue in my life, I wouldn’t be able to give you an exact answer. I wouldn’t be able to tell you at what point I became overly anxious and excited about everything and nothing. I wouldn’t be able to tell you at what point worry and fear consumed me. I wouldn’t be able to tell you at what point everything I did felt like a constant race. Always in a hurry, always in a rush.
It didn’t happen at the snap of a finger. It happened gradually. Slowly, then all at once. It happened over a time span of a year. A year that was filled with a lot of shuffles and changes. A year that challenged me, but at the same time, exhausted me.
I never talked about it seriously, but I should have. I didn’t want to accept that maybe there was something more going on. Maybe there was an explanation for my heart constantly beating out of my chest, skipping beats, impromptu crying, restless nights, excessive worry and fear in my daily life.
But I ignored it. I denied it. I didn’t want to accept this thing called anxiety. I wasn’t sure how it all worked. I didn’t want it to be a part of my life. A part of who I am right now.
I worry more times than none, about more things than necessary. I’m anxious 95% of the time. Fighting off an endless stream of thoughts. Things I fear, worries I can’t ease. I walk around eager and excited. My mind and my body are in a constant battle. A constant race, against what you ask? I’m still trying to figure it out.
Some days are better than others. Some days are good. Most days, I’m fine. But it creeps up on you. The gloom, the wonder, the worry. The world wouldn’t be able to tell that I’m battling this concept of anxiety. That it’s living inside of me. That some days it gets the best of me.
Truth be told, at some point, I didn’t break so easy. I didn’t crumble so fast. I wasn’t so fearful. I wasn’t so afraid. I wasn’t so anxious. But at some point, it all changed. It changed me. It affected me in more ways than I thought.
We all respond differently. Our bodies respond differently. Even when we go through basic changes, even when we face things in life that may not seem brutal or drastic to one.
You can’t always put a face with anxiety because a lot of it takes place on the inside. We’re just like you, maybe just a little extra heightened in our senses.
If you’re dealing with anxiety and still learning how to overcome it, know you’re not alone. Know that you’re not the only one out there and don’t be afraid to talk about it.
But most importantly, don’t let it get the best of you.