This will be nothing new to you. As we all have already learned, you will have good days and bad days.
There will always be tough days and hard times. Days you feel heavy and unforgiving. You will try and try, and you will fail, more than once. You will become discouraged. You will feel defeated. You will be mad at yourself. You will feel alone.
I’ve been all these people. I’ve felt all these things.
This is a common place to find yourself, but it isn’t where you have to stay forever.
In the middle of these days, the one thing that always saves me is the grace of God.
Lately I’ve felt like I’m waiting for a train that will never come. A song that will never end. A cloud that will never stop pouring.
I’ve been hard on myself. I haven’t given myself the credit I deserve. I have become my own worst enemy.
Some days I want to be mad at God, because He didn’t give me the things I wanted. The situation didn’t work out, the circumstances weren’t what I had asked for. I’ve begged for and pleaded for something, anything…. if only.
I’ve set my own expectations and hopes above Gods. I’ve left God out of this process. I’ve doubted Him and trusted Him all at the same time.
I haven’t always praised Him in the storm. I haven’t always thanked Him for the rain. I’ve been busy seeking my own desires, instead of the desires He has for me.
All the things I wanted, I didn’t need. He didn’t give them to me, because He has something bigger and better waiting for me. He isn’t done with me yet.
There are seasons of life we must go through. They are not always easy. You will have to brace yourself and walk through some of the hardest battles. But, you will come out a soldier. You will make it to the other side, because there is a God much bigger than you. Much bigger than the storm, the problems, the hurt, the pain, the waiting, the trying.
Someone who wants to show up with you to the party late. Someone who wants to take your hand and guide you there. Someone who wants to love you and pursue you even when you feel broken and less than.
He doesn’t want to see us fail any more than we want too. He wants to sculpt us and lead us to Him.
It isn’t until recently that I am reminded that being successful does not come without failure. True success in life results from trying and occasionally failing. Without struggle and failure would we even recognize success? Would we be thankful for its arrival? The answer is no. You will try and you are bound to fail. It’s in the moments of failure that you decide to persevere and keep trying. I hope you keep trying. I hope you thank your failures for all that they’ve taught you and where they’re going to take you, too.
I’m hopeful for the silver lining. I am patiently waiting for the sun to clear out the rain. But for the meantime, I look forward to dancing in the middle of the storm. You may too, feel like a lost soul, but soon enough you will be found. I will be found. We will be found. Don’t be afraid to admit that you are trying, we’re all trying.
By the grace of God I find assurance, strength, and courage to stand when I must and to fall to my knees when I feel I can’t any longer.