Toilets, showers, sinks. I’m not talking magical massaging, whistling shower heads or gold-plated toilet seats – I’m just talking about the modern miracle that is plumbing. People used to go in buckets, then it would be thrown in the streets. I get frustrated when I have to use the next stall over. Imagine if you had to see – and smell – it all the time, all over the place. And we can take showers! I guess before flushing toilets existed, it was less noticeable if you personally stank, but that’s great too. And don’t even get me started on all the different types of body wash out there.
2. Air Conditioning
I live in Texas. It’s hot here for about 10 months out of the year, and I mean hot. I’m talkin’ walk-to-the-mailbox-in-the-noon-heat-and-you’ve-gotta-change-your-shirt-afterwards hot. The fact that I can turn on a fan to cool off my sweaty face, much less flip a switch that actually cools the air down is incredible. Air conditioning is true sorcery – you’re controlling the TEMPERATURE. You are essentially playing God. #ACwayupIfeelblessed
3. Central Heating
We don’t have to sleep next to a roaring fire to stave off frostbite. If the cold never bothered you anyway, then more power to you, Elsa, but I am perpetually cold with the heat cranked up (hence my choosing to live in Texas). There’s a strong chance I won’t even walk on cold tile floors, so there’s definitely no way I would have made it in the olden days. But with the miracle of central heating, there’s no need to go outside to chop wood in the bitter cold – heck, it’s hard enough to get out from under the covers to turn up the thermostat. It can be Snowpacolypse 2016 outside and you can be on your couch, relaxing in shorts and a tank top.
First and foremost, horses do not have AC. Or heating. So that would be terrible. And your aux cord would not plug in successfully, let me tell you that much. We have these strange machines that have wheels and can go faster than any creature on earth. ON EARTH, PEOPLE. The fact that we can go hundreds of miles in a day was unthinkable 150 years ago. So next time you’re cursing the traffic jam you’re sitting in, just think: you could be in a horse stampede. And that would definitely be worse.
This one seems dumb, but consider for a minute a world without spoons, knives, forks, etc. I’ve tried eating yogurt with just my hands and, believe you me, it is not easy. Oatmeal would be a disaster, and I LOVE oatmeal. Just think about knives – these are the most important. You just going to take a big bite out of an onion? I don’t think so. You’re going to slice that baby and saute it up in a pan like a decent human being.
Life is dirty, even with adequate cutlery. Imagine not being able to wash your hands before eating. Imagine doctors not being able to sanitize a blade before slicing into your skin. Hello, diseases. People must have smelled horrible way back when without soap. Remember my shout-out earlier to body wash? So many body washes out there, y’all. SO MANY. Today we have the ability to pick a scent for our hair, our skin, our clothes, and even our dishes! Not only are we able to be clean and fresh, but we can be mountain meadow fresh, too. What a time to be alive.