Rapunzel. Pocahontas. Ariel. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all three with long, luscious locks. Long hair can be gorgeous and many girls feel a certain attachment to their flowing hair. But Disney lied, ladies. THE LONG HAIR GAME IS THE HARDEST GAME OF ALL. Even if you would never dream of chopping your ‘do, here are some basic struggles every girl who has (or has had) long hair can relate to.
Oh my gosh. SO MUCH SHEDDING. It’s everywhere: in your drain, in the carpet, the seats of your car, your desk chair, your boyfriend, your cat, all of your food, and EVERYTHING YOU EVEN CONSIDER TOUCHING. It’s like marking your territory, only you have no say in the matter. *~*KaTiE WuZ hErE*~* Thanks, hair. #longhaireverywhere
2. Strangers constantly touching your head.
Something about having long hair seems to beckon people you don’t know – or who you at least do know, but who you would still prefer didn’t touch you – to stroke your strands. I’m not even sure if people are aware when they divide it into three and start loosely braiding, all the while talking and lamenting about the days when they had long hair.
“Oh my gosh, your hair is so pretty.”
“Thanks! It’s–” Oh. Now you’re touching my head, petting me like some cute labradoodle.
3. Never enough shampoo. EVER.
Unfortunately my hair gets very oily, very fast, so this requires more washing than the average person. Tack on the additional foot of hair, and those industrial-sized pump bottles don’t stand a chance. And until I’m a stable enough adult to obtain a CostCo membership and buy shampoo by the vat, I’ve just faced facts and budgeted for the endless bottles of shampoo necessary for my mane.
4. People pointing out the obvious. “Wow, your hair is SO LONG!”
Yes. I know. It’s attached to me and probably currently in my mouth/eyes/ears/everything.
This may sound like an exaggeration, but when you whirl your head around upon hearing your name and your hair is wedged between your back and the chair, you’ll know what I mean.
6. Waking up is kind of gross.
At least one of the following three things will occur upon waking:
One, you’ll be on your back and unable to sit up without tearing half of your hair out because you’re lying on it.
Two, you’ll roll around in your sleep and at some point it will have smeared itself across your face, therefore into your mouth, therefore covered in slobber. Cute.
Or three, it has somehow worked its way into your armpits and will either be pulled, itchy, or just all-around disgusting.
7. So many tangles.
All of them. All of the tangles. Regardless of how much conditioner, shower-combing, Argan oil-ing you do, your hair is never 100% free of snarls. You finally get it all brushed out and then, of course, you have to move to clean out your now-covered brush. BOOM. Rat’s nest city all over again. *cue Tyga voice* Rat city. Rat, rat city.
Oh, it’s a blustery day? Might as well stay inside for 24 hours, otherwise you’ll be blinded by your uncontrollable head of hair. Headbands? Pfft. Rubber bands? Nah. Bobby pins? Useless. Let me put my hair in 17 rubber bands, spray it down, AND wear a hat, and maybe I can make it to the mailbox. Maybe. Wait, nope. Now it’s in my mouth. Again.