The Guy Who Will Always Be Around

Hooking up with someone within your group of friends is hands-down the worst decision you can make IF it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped. In an ideal situation, you are friends that turn into something more and you have a strong foundation with your friends being his friends. But, if the slightest thing goes wrong…there is no getting away from him, no matter what you try to do because your friends are his friends. You can try to be proactive and find out if he’s going to be at the bars you’re going to be at, or the joint birthday parties you were both invited to,  but the answer will most likely be yes. And honestly, most of the time, if the relationship or hookup ended badly, you’re going to always want to be front and center to make sure you show him what he’s missing. He liked you for a reason, right?

But, it never turns out the way you want. You could play the scenario out so many different ways and it will all end of the same. It didn’t work out with him for a reason, so no matter how nice and mature you are because you want to take the high road-it won’t matter to him. He still will not give you the time of day you are dying to get because everyone wants to feel wanted. Everyone wants to have the upper hand when a relationship ends. You might not want him anymore, but you sure as hell hope he still wants you.

So, if it ended badly and you give it a few weeks, you could maybe get away with looking hotter or being nicer to him, but ultimately, he still won’t want to go home with you. If you’re thinking “well, I’m a different person now, maybe he’ll like this version of me,” you’re wrong. The more you try to force yourself to be the version you think he wants you to be, the more you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Guys don’t work like that and that is only going to frustrate you more. If he is part of the friend group, you are bound to see him and my only advice is to just move on. Stop putting yourself in the positions to see him if you can because you are going to torture yourself watching him flirt with other girls deliberately in front of you.

At the end of the day, don’t change for him. Don’t change any of your habits unless you are doing it for you. Don’t stop being friendly to him or go out of your way to ignore him because you still have to see him and you don’t want your friends to have to choose sides. It’s his loss, so continue to be yourself and you’ll realize that you can do better. The other people in the group will realize that he is an idiot for passing you up and he’s going to be the one with regrets. Don’t dwell on the fact that he doesn’t want you anymore. Focus on the fact that he liked you for a reason and him changing his mind, makes him unworthy of your time-NOT the other way around.

Time heals all wounds. That is the best advice someone could give. It will get easier to be around him and you will eventually start asking yourself why you were even into him in the first place. Just don’t let this experience affect how you view your self worth.

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