Super Manly Remedies For The Very, Very Legitimate ‘Man Flu’

The Office

1. Drink water super masculine, tough guy liquids. Hell yeah! Put water in a glass mug and drink that ish. Man Flu is so dehydrating, you need to just stay on top of that.

2. Take a warm shower, but be, like, really tough about it. Flex in the mirror while you wait for the shower to steam your bathroom, that’s manly. It helps soothe your sinuses Uh, it DEMOLISHES your MASCULINE, MUCUS-FILLED sinuses.

3. Drink a bowl of chicken noodle soup hot water with METAL NAILS IN IT.

4. Try a salt nasal spray Climb a mountain in shorts and flip flops and breathe the fresh air at the top to help clear your head.

5. Or try a decongestant spray ride a stallion into the sunset and save a damsel in distress. Her kiss will alleviate that headache you feel from all the mucus.

6. DayQuil? Fight a rattlesnake every hour on the hour for daytime relief.

7. NyQuil? Restore a classic car and you’ll have no problem going to sleep and staying asleep.

8. Have you ever heard of cough drops? Whittle a chair out of the closest tree to CRUSH your itchy throat symptoms.

9. If you have any available, maybe try drinking a couple cups of tea with lemon and/or honey the blood of your enemies. Or ARCTIC FREEZE Gatorade. That’s chill and masculine.

10. Take vitamins a very long time to “fully recover.” Make sure to stay warm remind everyone that you’re feeling a little under the weather Big Boy Sick.

11. Of course, get some rest CONSERVE YOUR ENERGY USUALLY RESERVED FOR work? Video games? HUNTING AND GATHERING AND lie on a couch complaining REST YOUR MANLY BODY.

Be safe out there, guys MEN. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog