Overthinkers Anonymous Meeting Notes

Attendees:

Me, President of Overthinking Everything

Meredith, Vice President of Overthinking Everything (I think she hates me.)

Jimmy, Treasurer (He definitely hates me because when I first met him and shook his hand, my hands were really sweaty and now I bet that’s what he thinks about every time he looks at me, oh my god, why did I even come to this?)

Kelly S., Secretary (I wonder if she hates me?)

Kelly W., Member (Does she know my name? Should I somehow say my name casually so that I know she knows it?)

Matt, Member (He looks at me weird. Do I have something in my teeth? Do I have time to slip out before this meeting properly starts to check my teeth?)

Goals of this meeting:

1. Relax.

2. Gently discuss how the week has been going.

3. Decide who brings the snacks next week. (Oh my god, have I ever brought the snacks? I can’t remember. Does everyone hate me because I haven’t done it yet? Are they all wondering when I’m going to do it? Should I just volunteer? Oh, god, but I don’t want to buy the snacks. I don’t have time! I guess I do have time — what do I even do all day? Am I really living? What do people like? What if they judge what I bring? Who brought snacks today? Maybe I’ll just copy them? Or will people notice?)

Discussion:

1. Meredith has found meditation to be a saving grace and it’s really helped her clear her mind recently, which is great, because the other week she had a breakdown in a Whole Foods because she hates thinking ahead about the food she’ll eat for the week. Everyone should try meditation this upcoming week! (I should try meditation. Would I even be good at it? My leg always bothers me when I sit cross-legged, can I meditate standing? Can I meditate anywhere? Meredith says she can meditate even while driving, but that sounds wildly dangerous to me. Remember to never be in a car when Meredith is driving. Should I light candles to meditate? Do I even have any candles? Does my roommate have candles? Is this worth it? Why DOES my leg hurt when I sit cross-legged, is it blood clots? Should I go to a doctor about that?)

2. Both Matt and Kelly S. said that they have tried writing things down for five minutes a day to get all their worries down on paper. They love it! (I feel like I would need more than five minutes. What does that say about me? Do I have too many worries? What is the average number of worries a regular person has? Also, they both just decided to do the journaling thing? Are they dating? Are they happy? Does dating someone equate to happiness?)

3. Jimmy proposed we all go around and talk about one of our irrational-sounding fears, and then the rest of the group will help the individual work through it. Good exercise to do! Thanks Jimmy! (Okay, but I didn’t prepare a good irrational-sounding fear for this meeting so I was sweating the entire time everyone else was talking. What’s a cool irrational fear? What if they think my fear is stupid? Why don’t we plan these fucking activities in advance? Does Jimmy still think about my hands being sweaty? Is he going to bring it up when I start talking?)

4. Kelly W. led us in the concluding ritual of these meetings — chanting: “We must accept this is our best!” It is so nice to verbalize this! (Do I have to accept this? Is this really my best? Am I just plateauing here? I could probably do better, why don’t I do better? Why do I have to do anything Kelly W. tells me? SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW MY NAME.)

Conclusion:

Great meeting everyone! Definitely be sure to practice meditation, five minutes of daily journaling, and verbalizing your fears throughout the next week so that you can provide more feedback next meeting! (Fuck, did I say I was in charge of snacks? I can’t remember. I can’t ask anyone because then they’ll think I’m an idiot who forgets everything. Should I just bring snacks? Maybe I could pretend it’s my birthday? Oh, GOD, why would I do that? They’ll probably check my Facebook and think I’m a freak. Did Jimmy tell everyone about the sweaty hands thing? FUCK.) And remember to stay positive!