Heyyyyyy guys! Can you believe the end of the world is finally here? I legally couldn’t drink in 2012, so I’m actually kinda glad that the apocalypse got postponed until now. Imagine being sober for this. And there’s just, like, no fucking way we’re bouncing back from everything that’s happening right now. And it definitely can’t get worse, right? I don’t know what “worse” could even possibly mean — current events have surpassed the limits of my imagination. This is definitely the end. Phew, what a run.
Aaaaanyway, what’s everyone wearing?!
Are we prioritizing comfort? Or are we showing a little bit of skin? What’s the consensus? Earth tones? Sarah, are you going to wear that grey turtleneck? Can I wear that grey turtleneck? Definitely no heels, right? LOL I’d rather die than be stuck wearing heels as we succumb to whatever insane dystopian hell we’re about to descend into.
So crazy that we’re planning our last outfits now. Are we inviting Megan? I don’t know if I want her to be one of the last people I see when the void inevitably sucks us in and tears everything apart. She’s just been so passive aggressive lately and I feel like she’s going to make the end of the world all about her. She’s such a bitch.
And what time are you guys getting there? Like, I’m eager for the end of the world — don’t get me wrong — but don’t want to seem too eager. Should we just show up, like, 15 minutes late?
Shit! Are you guys dressing cute? Does that mean I have to too? Makeup or “no makeup” makeup? Can everyone send photos of what shoes they’re wearing? Is it going to be cold out? Do you think the crushing end of civilization and society will require me to bring a jacket?