It is with a heavy heart I must make the announcement that, yes, I will be continuing my unhealthy coping mechanisms from the last 23 years of life indefinitely.
This was not an easy decision to make (it actually was, I’ve just decided to stop evolving and to plateau any and all minimal character development) but after pursuing a series of proper, HEALTHY alternatives to just total self-destruction, it has become unbearably clear to me that I would much rather wallow in self-pity than work on myself.
There are so many people and things I’d love to thank for helping me come to this conclusion:
Mental health professionals who ACTIVELY advised against this, my brain for not producing enough dopamine, my hormones for answering the question “ok what if we made everything worse AND you start eating 125% more than you usually do?,” the moments before falling asleep because they always remind me to think of every Bad Thing I’ve ever done ever ever ever in order of “vaguely forgivable” to “I won’t even write about this in my diary because I desperately want to forget it happened,” and of course! all of the problems I conjure up in my head from overreacting to something ultimately very trivial.
Without you all, I’d probably be a functioning member of society.
Thank you and everything’s fine!