1. Have you ever heard of the author?
2. Is the author writing in a way that makes you feel like they think you should know who they are?
3. Because, like, they went viral once?
4. Do they write about their parents?
5. And how they’re really strict?
6. But you have a suspicion that they’re probably not that strict but perhaps confused as to what their child does for a living?
7. Or why their child is oversharing on the internet?
8. Because even though the author is in their early 20s, do they write as if what they’re experiencing has never happened to anyone ever before?
9. Do they mention startup culture?
10. Does their author photo make them look like they probably use a standing desk?
11. Do they completely reject the term “millennial”?
12. Because they claim to reject labels of any kind?
13. Even though they use the term “millennial” when it applies to anyone other than them?
14. To the point where the line between irony and lack of self-awareness is very, very blurred?
15. Do they curate their social media?
16. Do they describe things as being “on brand” for themselves?
17. And even though they have less than a thousand followers on Instagram, do they still consider themselves a “brand”?
18. Do they have a strong opinion on Lena Dunham? Or ‘13 Reasons Why’?
19. Are they ready to fight you over Lena Dunham? Or ‘13 Reasons Why’?
20. Do they shit on older generations?
21. While simultaneously shitting on their own generation?
22. Especially in regards to how technology is ruining their generation?
23. But the only example they give for how technology is ruining it is “hookup culture”?
24. Do they sort of hate the internet?
25. Even though they work for it?
26. Is the comments section a total disaster?